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If you’re not a particularly assertive person, asking anything of your bridesmaids can be tough. However, you are the HBIC of this event and you need to act like it! No, you don’t want to go into full bridezilla mode – that’s a huge no-no – but there are a few things that you shouldn’t be afraid to say to your ’maids.

Here are a few things you should feel comfortable saying to your bridesmaids.

“I need to meet your plus one before the big day.”

You definitely don’t want any strangers sitting at your head table! If you’ve never met one of your bridesmaid’s partners (or the person they plan on bringing as their date) request a meet and greet. Trust us, it’s in no way weird that you’d want to meet the people you’ll be hosting before your wedding.

“I want you to wear [insert item/colour here] to my wedding.”

When it comes to bridesmaids’ looks, you are the boss. If you’re letting your ’maids choose their own outfits and accessories, it’s perfectly fine (and expected) for you to give them guidelines. You can even ask for them to send you photos before they purchase anything, so you know exactly what you’re in for when the big day arrives.

“I’d like you to style your hair and makeup like this on my wedding day.”

If your friends are handling their own hair and makeup, don’t feel bad about giving them a roadmap. Honestly, a little bit of direction will make their lives easier as they won’t have to play a guessing game. Don’t have a photo to reference? Offer pointers like “please use a neutral lipstick shade”, “skip the winged liner” and “go with a simple pony or ballet bun”.

“Don’t have too many drinks at the rehearsal dinner.”

The last thing you want is for your squad to wake up looking and feeling worse for wear on your wedding day. You want everyone to be on their A game, and a nasty hangover definitely won’t get them there. While you shouldn’t act like the fun police, you should feel okay about asking your bridesmaids to stick to one or two beverages at your rehearsal dinner. If they get salty, just remind them how much fun they’re going to have at your reception.

“Don’t mention [insert unnecessary mention here] in your toast.”

Don’t want your MOH to mention your ex in her maid of honour speech? Would you prefer her to skip sharing an embarrassing story from your university days? Well, you’ve got to let her know which subjects are off-limits (even though she probably already knows). Keep in mind that you shouldn’t ask to proofread her speech - that’ll ruin any surprises she has planned - but giving boundaries is important.

“I need you to help me [insert wedding task here].”

As we all know, with great honour comes great responsibility (and being a bridesmaid is a great honour). When your friends said yes to being in your wedding party, they also said yes to helping you out, so if you need a hand with a last minute task, don’t be afraid to rally the troops. No, you shouldn’t give them a huge responsibility like organizing your seating chart – that’s just asking for trouble – but you can ask them to organize place cards or give out welcome bags.

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