So, you’ve had to say ‘no’ to a wedding invitation to your bestie’s big day? My heart goes out to you. Having to miss a major milestone, like a wedding, sucks, and you’ll probably have to fight through some serious FOMO when the event rolls around. From stalking social media to recreating the happy couple’s signature drink, there are few things to do if you have to miss a wedding.

Here’s what to do if you had to say ‘no’ to a wedding invitation.

Attend pre- and post-wedding events
Just because you had to say ‘no’ to a wedding invitation doesn’t mean you should skip all the fun stuff that comes before (and after). From the engagement party to the bridal shower to the post-wedding brunch, there are plenty of ways to celebrate your friend’s nuptials without being there on the big day.

Send a gift
Gift giving is a wedding staple that you can easily get in on without attending the actual event. In fact, it’s considered good etiquette to send a gift if you can’t be there in person. So, take a look at that registry and find the perfect somethin’, somethin’ to send along in your absence. You don’t have to buy the biggest gift to make up for being a no-show, but you should look for something that fits your relationship with the couple (if you’re not that close you can go for something a little less expensive, or, if you’re BFFs, you may want to splurge on a big ticket item).

Send a text the day of
Yes, the couple is probably being bombarded with texts on their big day, but that doesn’t mean you should skip sending one. A sweet little message with your best wishes is bound to make them feel extra special. Tip: this is definitely preferable to a phone call, they will probably be way too busy practicing their vows and getting dressed up to answer.

Stalk social media
If you have to say ‘no’ to a wedding invitation, what is one of the best ways to get in on the action? Follow it on social media. Not only will the newlyweds be posting photos of their big day, but so will their friends and family. Remember to check their invites or wedding website so that you know what hashtag to lurk.

Use FaceTime
Thanks to FaceTime, you can (kind of) be at your friend’s wedding without actually being at their wedding. You shouldn’t try to drop them a line while the ceremony is happening, but you may be able to do a quick check in at the reception. Note: the couple will be super busy, so you may want to call the MOH, instead. She can give you a quick tour of the venue and then pass you off the the happy couple for a quick hello.

Make the signature cocktail at home
Ok, so if you say ‘no’ to a wedding invitation you may not be able to indulge in the amazing dinner or cake that the happy couple has planned, but you can make a dupe of their signature cocktail. Ask what ingredients they’re adding to theirs and stir one up at home. Sure, you may have to drink it out of a basic tumbler instead of a fun themed glass, but it’ll taste just as good. Don’t forget to send along a selfie saying “cheers”!

Play their playlist
If they’ve opted to make a spotify playlist, listen to it in the comfort of your own home (or wherever you are). No, you won’t be hitting the dance floor with your BFFs but you can still enjoy a few of your favourite jams.