Choosing your bridesmaids can be tricky business. Of course, it would be awesome if every single one of your friends could stand by your side when you say your “I dos”, but you need some people in the audience, too. If you’re having trouble narrowing down the best of the best, there are a few Qs you need to A.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself before choosing your bridesmaids.
Who’s there for me for better or for worse?
You know the saying, “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”. Use this philosophy to help pick your bridesmaids. The pals who have stuck with you through thick and thin should be the ones by your side.
Who makes me the happiest?
You want to be surrounded by people that uplift you, not bring you down. If one of your friends is constantly focusing on the negatives, think about how they’ll act as a bridesmaid. You probably don’t want someone to pick apart your arrangements and question your choice of dress on your big day.
Who do I enjoy hanging out with one-on-one?
If you can’t hang out with them alone, they probably aren’t as good a friend as you think. Choose ladies (and/or gents) who you enjoy spending time with in both group and solo scenarios (this is the cream of the crop). Remember, you don’t need your entire squad in your wedding party, some can sit in the audience!
Who am I always in touch with?
Think about the people you are in constant contact with - these are probably the best of your best friends. If you only text, email or call each other once every few months, they probably shouldn’t earn one of the coveted spots in your bridal party.
Is one of my potential ‘maids a bit of a frenemy?
If one of your besties is a bit of a drama queen, you may want to consider excluding them from your bridal party. This may seem a bit harsh, but it also may be necessary. Before making the call, think about how they’ll act at pre-wedding bashes and on your big day. If it seems like more trouble than it’s worth to have them as a bridesmaid, it probably is.
Am I including more people just to make the bridesmaids and groomsmen equal?
Don’t think about what’s happening on the other side of the aisle when selecting your bridesmaids. While having both parties match in numbers is nice, it’s definitely not necessary. It won’t mess of up the processional or recessional to have unequal groups, so just try to keep in mind what’s important - having who you love beside you at the altar.
Am I being peer pressured into including anyone I don’t actually want in my party?
Your friends and relatives have probably given more than their two cents about your bridal party. Though they may have some good suggestions, don’t let anyone tell you how to build your bridesmaid squad. If you don’t want to include one of your cousins or a distant acquaintance, that’s A-OK. Remember, this is your wedding, not theirs.
Am I inviting them to be in my wedding party just because they invited me to be in theirs?
Just because a pal invited you to be a part of their wedding party doesn’t mean you have to return the favour. You should be focusing on the friends you are closest with, not trying to pay anyone back. Remind yourself that while it may have been a nice gesture for them to include you, you don’t actually owe them anything.