Mariah
Newbie October 2018 Ontario

Wedding seating

Mariah, on 8/August/2018 at 13:05 Posted in Wedding reception

So I am thinking about the head table here...

my fiancé and I both have three bridesmaids/ groomsmen (including maid of honor and best man)..

I have 5 siblings and only two of them are in my wedding party, thinking it might be awkward to split up my siblings having two at the head table and 3 at another....

the other things is my Fiances parents.. well we are unsure if they will be together at our wedding or not.... so how should I seat them ?

my dad and my mom are separated, and they have been for a while so they are okay in seating with us.. but my dad has a fiancé and HOW DO I FIT ALL THESE PEOPLE AT ONE TABLE!

so my family is a bit of a mess.... should I have the parents at one table and siblings at another or split my family all together and my fiances family together.. also he is adopted so his biological family would sit at a different table and his fosters would sit at another... but again his foster mom and dad may still be separated.. .

or should we have the two of us at the head with our best man and maid of honor.. then I feel bad because my family isn't there with us.. and that might be awkward.. we could have their dates with us there...

or we could have it just us 2 which seems like the best option at the moment

thoughts?


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16 Comments

  • Bianca
    Featured August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·

    A sweetheart table really would solve all your problems. Due to how some of your siblings are involved but not all of them, this would be the best way to keep things nice.

  • Jennifer
    Frequent user September 2018 British Columbia
    Jennifer ·

    Our head table is just our wedding party, we kept it simple!

    Our parents are all sitting at one table together, including his mom & dad who aren't together and who are both remarried. We have been together over 12 years & all of the parents get along so well.

    For your situation, maybe you should do a sweetheart table for just the two of. It also might be nice to get all the parents to sit together, & the siblings together (if they all get along). Would be a good opportunity for them all to get to know one another. Plus, from that day forward you will all be one family!

  • Chelsey
    Frequent user September 2018 Ontario
    Chelsey ·
    I know exactly how you feel. Were having a long t shaped table down the middle for our wedding party/their partners(seats 16) and two large square tables for family, on either side of the long table. Were combining our parents and grandparents to one table (seats 12) Since both of our parents are separated and each have their own partners. Then the other square table to our closest friends.
  • Jennifer
    Super August 2018 Alberta
    Jennifer ·
    The head table is for the wedding party don’t feel bad they can’t sit with you. It’s ok to split them up.
  • Erin
    Super September 2019 Ontario
    Erin ·
    The head table is for wedding party only. Thank heavens because my family is a bit of a mess that way as well, and so is my fiance's!
  • Kaisha
    Super March 2019 Nova Scotia
    Kaisha ·

    I don't think people expect to sit at the head table if they are not in the wedding party. My FHs sister will not be sitting with us, we will also not have any dates with us. I have put all the dates at a table together. As far as his parents are concerned I would wait and see you do not need to finalize the seating plan yet. I will be placing my FHs dad at one table with his siblings and parents (they have a small family). My parents and grandma will be at a table in the middle and then his mom will be at the 3rd table with his sister, this way they will all be close but still slightly separated.

  • Leanne
    Expert September 2018 Ontario
    Leanne ·

    A sweetheart table may be your best option, if you are comfortable with that. We definitely have some family drama as well that I needed to work around for our seating arrangements. For our head table it will be us and our bridal party. Our other family members that we did not include in our wedding party will be sitting with their parents. My parents will be at one table with close family and my FH mom will be at one table with her family and her ex-husband as they are civil now. My FH father passed away a couple of years ago, but we are keeping his family separate from his mom's family. My FH cousins also all dont fit at one table with their significant others, so we didn't know who to choose to not sit at the cousins table and sit with aunts and uncles.

    You definitely don't need to have everyone sitting together, it may not be a bad idea to discuss this with your families and see if they have suggestions that help. If they don't, then do whatever you feel like works best for you.

  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·

    The simple suggested solution is a sweetheart table for 2.

    The rest of the family gets split up sitting with whom they will be comfortable and less chaos. Wedding party gets a table of their own to sit with their spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends/etc.

    Don't over think it as it will get complicated and you will not feel at ease knowing there are problems with the parents at one table and how things went wrong. Enjoy your celebration and less complications in whole.

  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·

    We sat at our own table just the 2 of us, my immediate family was spread over 2 tables and so was my husband's and then the wedding party had their own table.

  • Amelia
    Curious October 2018 Nova Scotia
    Amelia ·
    I'm having my parents, god parents, future father in law, future aunt in law, and 2 of my aunts at one table, future mother in law at a seperate table with her family, and then the other 3 tables are all my family and the last table is kids.

    You could also possibly skip a seating arrangement and just let people sit where they like? Or, depending on your venue, do long table rows instead of small groups so it feels like everyone is sitting together and noone feels left out?
  • Alexandra
    VIP November 2019 British Columbia
    Alexandra ·
    We are doing the head table with just us and our parents, then we have a bridesmaid table and a groomsmen table and siblings & dates are there too. I found it was just what worked best for us. I would talk to your parents and try and figure out what they think because I feel like sometimes we completely overthink things and get into a muddle
  • Jennifer
    Super July 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·

    If you want your wedding party with you. sit them all at the head table. regardless of siblings involved/not involved.
    in terms of parents. we will be having them at separate tables. my FH's parents are many years divorced. I'm asking FMIL who she wants sitting at her table with her, I'm asking FFIL who he wants at his table.

    with my family. I have my aunt/uncle that are being my parents for this wedding stuff (my parents have passed away). and then I have a table of people that I call "family" that will be sitting close by.

    the other option. you could have a sweetheart table (you and hubby), siblings/dates at a talbe and you could still do parents separately.

  • Clarissa
    Expert October 2018 Saskatchewan
    Clarissa ·
    Dinner is only for a short portion of the evening. After that everyone mingles and mixes anyways and seating charts are out the window. Do what works best for you and your bridal party. And if your unsure start asking what your siblings and parents would prefer. There is no single way to do it.

    For seating parents just ask. Would they like to sit at a table together and pick who they sit with? Or have it all immediate family? Or would they each like their own table to host with friends and family? Again easiest to just ask what each parent would prefer.

    The only thing I would suggest is to let the bridal party sit with their dates for dinner instead (either at the head table or at designated tables). They are coming as a pair and it is always appreciated when you can actually eat dinner with the person you came with.
  • Eilendra
    Newbie July 2019 Alberta
    Eilendra ·

    I can definitely also understand the complicated family puzzle for trying to arrange seating. I think as long as your parents are in tables near the front, you don't need to necessarily have a "parents" table- more like immediate family tables. We will be arranging our tables so that my mom, step-dad, step-brother, step-sister's husband (she will be in my wedding party at the head table) and nana are at one table; my dad, step-mom, step-siblings (again not in the wedding party) at another table and then my in-laws at a third table with family they can talk to. I don't want my parents and his parents to feel obligated to spend the WHOLE day together- they already will be spending most of the day with getting ready and photos. I want parents to feel comfortable too (his parents and my dad are out of town so they don't spend a lot of time together beyond the rare family dinner) But at the end of the day- it is YOUR day- to enjoy, have fun and celebrate! And I agree with the previous comment- after dinner and speeches- everyone moves around anyways. (As for the parents who you aren't sure if they will be together, plan for them to be separate but have a back up plan just in case- someone that you can move easily without having to rearrange everything!)

  • Tori Doll
    Featured October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori Doll ·

    Although I am having a sweatheart table I have a similar situation with the parent thing for my FH's mom and dad. His dad couldn't care less where he sits but my FMIL doesn't even like being in the same room as him. We will probably have to split them up but at the end of the day - they will sit where we tell them and if they want to throw a temper tantrum and look like a fool then that is on them... It's our wedding and they can suck it up and be mature adults - heck, they've had at least 30 years of experience by then...

  • Brittany
    Master January 2019 British Columbia
    Brittany ·

    My parents are divorced. My mom is remarried (for 18 years). My dad would NOT sit at a table with my step dad (my parents are very civil, but it's because my step dad isn't paraded in front of my dad ever). Half of my sisters (1 full, 1 half) are in my bridal party, and my 2 step sisters are not. But they are sitting at a table next to the "parent table".... which will be my mom and step dad, my FH's parents, and my god parents (out of town guests). My dad and his gf will be with his brother (my uncle) and my aunt... along with a couple who is friends with my dad. The parents tables will be next to each other though.

    Honestly... as long as people have at least one or two people at their table they can talk to, it's not a big deal. Just make sure those important people are the 2 or 3 tables closest to the front/head table.

    I don't think it's strange to split up your siblings, especially if it's just because some are in the bridal party.

    Best thing to remember is, most people are eating or paying attention to speeches when they are sitting. The majority of the wedding will be spent up and about, socializing, dancing, etc. Once dinner is done, people get up and mingle anyways.

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