moh has "prior engagements"

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This hits it bang on for what I was going to say. Definitely call her, don't text, and listen to her thought process.

Let her go do it!

So you said it was planned by your FHs family. So she probably had no say and was invited as any other guest. How far in advance did she get the invitation? She may not have had much notice and it sounds like she was put in a very difficult spot of having to decide which friend she is there with on the day.

If it was me I would probably let her know I want her there as she’s an important person to me. But I would not be demanding she be there as it’s not her party to host or plan and that probably will cause a lot of strain on the relationship.

As Emma said pick up the phone and call her or go grab a coffee and talk face to face about it. There should be a compromise in there where you can both be happy.

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Thank you so much for the advice

Ok I’m going to answer this a little differently. So say she is asking you about skipping it. It’s possible she has gotten grief from other people about skipping the parade. It sounds like she may be just seeing how you feel about it. Maybe to her you are the more level headed and reasonable person who gives her less grief. And just maybe she is trying to please everyone.

Don’t do this over text. Call her and talk to her about it. Don’t demand that she be there but tell her how it would mean a lot to you. Then take a deep breath and listen to what she has to say.

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Thank you

View quoted message That can be tough sometimes lol. Its ok to let her know that you’re upset that this is coming up a few days before the shower, and you had thought she was ok with missing The parade this year. Good luck and I hope you two can resolve this quick!

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Yeah it is. I will just need to see what I can do to handle this like an adult lol

View quoted message I’m so sorry! She’s definitely in the wrong here and to put you through this right before the shower is wrong! Definitely say something. Because that’s just hurtful to spring this on you right before the event

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I'm not sure as it was planned by my FH's aunt and FMIL. The shower is at 3pm and I was told the parade is at 11am.... I wouldn't mind if she asked to do either of those but she is asking to skip the entire event which is what upsets me.

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Yes it is......

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Yeah as I also had gone to the pride parade with the same friends for the past few years which is why I know that's how it is. I think that is what I will tell her. She did mention during the stagette that the events fall on the same day and she did tell the Best Man that she will be skipping the parade this year due to the shower...so I'm not sure why the sudden change all of a sudden

WAIT A MINUTE!!!!! Isn’t the parade this weekend?!?! She is telling you 4 days before?!?! No... not ok at all! It should have been talked about a LONG time ago!

Did she have any input into the date of the shower? If so, there is no reason she shouldn't go to the shower because she should've said then she couldn't make it. Are they at the exact same time? Is it possible for her to leave the shower early to go to the parade or leave the parade and come late to the shower?

It's great that she wants to support her friend, but I think this year, she should be supporting you and your wedding.

View quoted message If she goes to party and get drunk, then I would definitely be upset! It’s one thing to support a friend and be there with them. If that’s the situation, then I would ask if she could possibly come late to the shower or leave early. Sorry, I didn’t think that was her reason! This is why I’m so happy I didn’t have a wedding party, because I know I would have been in your exact situation and it can be frustrating

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Fair enough. I will do my best to explain to both parties without my emotions getting the way.

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Oh I agree the importance. To the best of my knowledge she is straight and she goes with the best man to support him as he is gay and to really just drink and party....

Yeah guess she needs to be get her priorities right. Even if she runs behind I wouldn't mind to be honest as long as she is there.

If it were me I would let her know that unfortunately it was the only weekend that worked for the majority of the people attending or whoever is hosting. I would also let her know that is definitely wasn’t my intention to have it on the same weekend, and that i understand she has to miss it. I would also say how bummed out I am that my maid of honour won’t be there by my side for the bridal shower. If the parade is really important to her, and she goes every year, then I would be understanding about her going and not be upset. She shouldn’t have said anything about the BM though. If he has a problem, he should have addressed you directly. But you can also explain to him so there are no hard feelings?

I know the importance and what the Pride Parade represents to a significant portion of the population (I'm one of them). That being said, if my friend was getting married, and I was MOH, and the bridal shower landed on that day - I would be at the bridal shower with bells on. I would not give it a second thought. The Pride Parade is important, but you can still celebrate Pride without going to the actual parade.

I would question her dedication to the MOH role if she is choosing the parade over you. Everybody is allowed to have different priorities, and if that is a priority for her, then she is allowed to make that decision. It just doesn't necessarily mean you need to accept it for you and your wedding.

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Ooops to forgot to mention the shower is planned and hosted by one of my FH's aunts and my FMIL. I am quite upset about the text and I'm by no means "bridezilla" I needed to get opinions and cool my head before responding to her.

I would tell her that the pride parade comes and goes but your wedding shower only happens once. If it was a prior engagement to go to the parade then she should have spoken up while planning it that it landed on the same weekend.

If this was my friend I would not be okay with her choosing a parade over me. It's just a parade.