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Frequent user August 2024 Quebec

Long engagement : i want to get married already!

Karine, on July 5, 2020 at 19:58 Posted in Plan a wedding 1 23

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Hey everyone! My fiance and I are having a veeery long engagement (been engaged for two years already and probably won't happen for another 2 or 3 years) and the pandemic is not getting in the way of our plans. But my impatience is! We're still very much in love and I just feel like the wait is excruciatingly long. We're planning on having a small wedding, around 40 people, but my fiance's family is overseas so it's not like we can get married on whim if we want them there.

The thing is, recently I've been daydreaming about just getting married with my officiant and our respective witnesses in a park... And then later maybe getting a more "formal" ceremony with our families and friends and such... I still haven't brought up the subject with my FH because I feel like I'm just being impatient and wanted to ask if anyone in here is going through something similar? What are your thoughts?
Ps: while it will not be the only factor in my decision, I kind of fear that his mom feels hurt that we got married without her seeing how she doesn't see him often ever since he changed countries... She wouldn't say anything about it but I just know she'd be sad.

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Latest activity by Karine, on July 9, 2020 at 11:28

Frequent user August 2024 Quebec
Karine · On July 9, 2020 at 11:28
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Hi Sonia! Hopefully when all goes back to "normal" you'll get to have a proper celebration with your family! The thing for me is, we were still supposed to wait another 2 or 3 years and I'm just being impatient, haha! To me it feels like we could just do it in a backyard with my cousin as the celebrant (as it was already planned) and each of us with our witness)... Like, just do a little ceremony and then beer and pizza and then a proper celebration when we have the money. But to my SO it's important that his mom be there and it's his wedding too! What he wants matters a lot to me and since we've discussed about it I can see how crucial that is for him. I guess I'll just have to keep on being impatient a bit more, lol!

Hope everything gets sorted out on your end! Thank you for your answer, I feel less alone!
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Newbie December 2020 Nigeria
Sonia · On July 9, 2020 at 10:41
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Hi Karine,
You are definitely not alone, I feel the same way as We might also be doing our wedding without our parents around. I have dreamed of a wedding with my families laughing and just enjoying the moment but I guess we will all just have to enjoy from afar. Our parents told us they are fine with it, I am sure deep down they feel bad with the situation but what can we do. We don’t even still know how long before the world comes back to normal. Talk to your fiancé and your(his/yours) families about it, I am sure they would understand, it’s nobody’s fault. Just blame it all on corona
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Frequent user August 2024 Quebec
Karine · On July 8, 2020 at 15:27
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I know right!?
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Frequent user August 2024 Quebec
Karine · On July 8, 2020 at 15:26
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Thank you so much for your kind words. Patience is indeed a virtue and apparently not my strongest one! Haha! But you're right, it'll be worth the wait!
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Newbie October 2025 British Columbia
Tony · On July 7, 2020 at 18:38
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I can’t wait so excited
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Top August 2017 Ontario
Vinod · On July 7, 2020 at 18:20
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We all have some impatience in us for something. Getting married is the best thing to look forward yet not easy because of the other half to disagree of the situation of the date. You do want to feel that feeling of family and friends present and doing it right then not.
Just know your heart is in the right place yet patience is a virtue that is hard to contain. Next year gets better, than you don't have to wait 2- 3 years down the road. Lets hope for the best for getting clear of this situation.
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Frequent user August 2024 Quebec
Karine · On July 6, 2020 at 16:09
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I'm really happy for you guys! Congrats!
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Newbie June 2020 Alberta
Neg · On July 6, 2020 at 13:39
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We got married nine days ago. with only 37 guests to be exact my family is overseas so only my husbands side physically and mine virtually. We did zoom call for my family and relatives to witness it! No regrets about it. We were happy and nothing can beat that!😊
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Frequent user August 2024 Quebec
Karine · On July 6, 2020 at 13:28
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Hopefully it's soon for the two of you! Thank you for the moral support!
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Expert July 2021 Ontario
Sarah · On July 6, 2020 at 10:27
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Well this year marks our 10 year anniversary and we’ve been engaged for 3 years going on 4 with the pandemic so no you’re not alone lol
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Frequent user May 2021 Ontario
A-W · On July 6, 2020 at 07:30
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Definitely not! I hope you two can come up with something
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Frequent user August 2024 Quebec
Karine · On July 6, 2020 at 01:57
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Ok, so I spoke to FH and he'd rather wait and do it well right away! So that pretty much settled it, but I'm still super impatient, lol. At this rate, our wedding will be planned to the tiniest detail by yours truly because she just cannot wait! You can all still tell me about your own anguish while waiting for your big days, I'll gladly! Thank you everyone for the love!
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Frequent user August 2024 Quebec
Karine · On July 6, 2020 at 01:52
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You're right! I already got the man so I can still wait a bit! It's funny because you mentioned the three same (main) reasons why it's taking that long before we get married; money, my going back to school and my health issues! I'm just glad we both have someone amazing by our side to get through it all! Good luck with everything!
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Frequent user August 2024 Quebec
Karine · On July 6, 2020 at 01:47
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I'm glad it worked out! You both look amazing and happy and it warms my heart! Thank you!
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Frequent user July 2023 Ontario
Sarah · On July 6, 2020 at 00:28
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I 100% hear you! Due to multiple factors (money, my schooling and my health issues) our engagement will be almost 5 years by the time we say I do. We have toyed with the idea of making it legal and doing a more formal shindig later but it doesn't make sense for us! I'm so impatient, but you'll get through if it is important to you to wait. You have your mate already!
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Newbie July 2020 Manitoba
Sheila · On July 5, 2020 at 23:56
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I feel you! We got engaged in Feb 2019 and had been planning to get married on July 3rd, 2020. Then covid happened. We decided to get married in our apartment in May 2020. We were not sure if our July would still happen. Most of our families are overseas, my dad lives abroad and I really wanted him to attend my wedding. We spoke to our families and they were all understanding. We went ahead with our wedding party on July 3rd, our families celebrated as well where they are and we livestreamed the day. It was not the way we had planned but it was an amazing day. We have no regrets!!
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Frequent user August 2024 Quebec
Karine · On July 5, 2020 at 22:06
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Thank you! It just really feels good to not feel alone in my feeling! Hope everything goes well for you! Fingers crossed
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VIP September 2020 Ontario
Geneviève · On July 5, 2020 at 21:40
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I totally understand. We’ve been engaged for 4 years (longer if covid postpones our wedding), and I definitely got antsy after a year. Main reason we didn’t marry then was due to school and finances but looking back, I’m glad we waited to do it our way. The impatience died down after a little while too so we were able to focus more on our plan.
Everybody’s different and you’ve gotta make the decision for yourselves, but definitely give it a think between both of you before you decide.
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Featured August 2022 British Columbia
Amanda Online · On July 5, 2020 at 20:50
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I hear ya! It definitely feels like an eternity! I want to marry my fiance and wear my dress already!!
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Frequent user August 2024 Quebec
Karine · On July 5, 2020 at 20:45
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I should probably talk to him indeed, but it's reassuring to see I'm not the only one feeling impatient. Thanks for your input!
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Frequent user August 2024 Quebec
Karine · On July 5, 2020 at 20:43
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I'm just sooooo impatient! Lol, I've always been! I'm sure the wait will be worth it but men! Waiting 4 to 5 years to marry my men just seems like an eternity!
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Frequent user May 2021 Ontario
A-W · On July 5, 2020 at 20:42
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I also have a long engagement, it was going to be 3 years and now with COVID it is going to be 4 and I'm feeling impatient now also. We decided against a small wedding because we felt our impatience was easier to deal with than upsetting any family members (mainly his mom also).
It might help to talk to your FH and see how he feels about a small wedding ahead of time, since everything with travel is so up in the air right now his family might understand since they are out of the country and who knows when that's going to be allowed. But it might be easier to save the family stress and wait in my opinion.
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Featured August 2022 British Columbia
Amanda Online · On July 5, 2020 at 20:37
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I feel your pain! I'm impatient too! I just want to get married already!
My fiance and I have been engaged for 2 years and 7 months and we've have to postpone our wedding on August 8 2020 to August 7 2021 We're also having a small wedding with 60 ish people. I wish we could get married on our date but I know for sure my parents would be heart broken if I got married and they weren't there and not too mention all of our other family members as well. Even though we have to wait one more year to make it official, I know it's the right decision in the long run. I know next year will be bigger and better than ever and we'll have the wedding of our dreams with all of our family and friends their to witness our love.
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Long engagement : i want to get married already!

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