Engagement Party - is a backyard BBQ okay?

Hi Everyone,

Thank you so much for all of your responses! You all gave me the confidence in my idea to go ahead with it! We are doing our engagement party in our backyard on June 22nd. I really hope it goes well and doesn't rain!

Thank you again for all of your comments and support!

I think the backyard BBQ idea is awesome! It sounds like such a fun and authentic way to celebrate your recent engagement. As for having it potluck style, I don't know. It depends on your crowd and only you really know if they're the type of people who would be okay with that. Mind you, when I think of potlucks, I think of them more for family get-togethers, not for a big event.

I think that would be a lot of fun! I've been to a few engagement parties that were backyard bbqs amd they were always the most fun!

That’s exactly what we are thinking about as well - a potluck at our house. My fiancé is convinced that engagement parties are not a thing, but I think it would be fun

This sounds awesome! we held our own engagement party. we rented a room in a pub, had an appetizer buffet and everyone ordered and took care of their own drinks, as well as any other food they wanted

Nothing wrong with it... Trends these days are "do it your way"... But if you're close To Toronto, get the bbq catered by Adamson's!!! Met these guys as they catered a bbq wedding... Then I got them to do my birthday bash... Insanely. Good!!!

I did my engagement party as a backyard bbq, just wanted to celebrate with close friends and family. I don't see anything wrong with it.

That should be just fine, there is no set way to do anything. your day, your moment, your choice as long as it makes you and your FH

Do what you want, if people judge you for it, that's their problem!

Totally okay! I love the idea (:

We got engaged on New Years so backyard bbq wasn't exactly possible. We had our immediate family join us at one of our favourite restaurants in celebration instead. Everyone paid for their own meals, it was super informal but the evening got to be about us (:

My fiancés cousin also got engaged the same night, and they waited until later to have an engagement party, a larger group, family and friends, but exactly like what you have in mind. They got all their food from Costco I assume and they served us, we didn't have to bring anything but people really love to help so just ask!

Both were Facebook events, no formal invitations needed.

Great idea. Who cares about faux pas. You're wedding. Your way.

This is basically what we did for our engagement party, so go ahead and do it!

I would hold off on the save the dates until your engagement party wraps up - you can send them anywhere really between 8-12 months before the wedding.

Absolutely its fine to have a bbq for your engagement party. There isn't any wrong in what you want to do or how you want have it. Invite whom you want and potluck style works since you don't need to do a lot of work.

Save the dates isn't a big deal to send out if you want to pass on it and wait 3 months in to send out the actual invites. Enjoy the relaxed time with family and friends celebrating your forth coming wedding next year.

Idea for the cake would be how you would design the Save the Date card style to let everyone know on the cake itself. Consider the option.

Totally ok! We are having an outdoor picnic as our engagement party. My FMIL and Mom are hosting it, but it will be super casual and relaxed. No gifts, nothing too fancy etc. Sounds very nice!

Sounds like a great idea! It’s exactly what we would have done if we had an engagement party!

This is legit what we are doing for our couple's shower next month, so naturally I think this is an awesome idea! Do what you want. not everything wedding related has to be fancy/pinterest board goals.

If you specify the no gifts, but bring something to share, that's fine in my books.

It sounds like a really nice idea. I mean it sounds intimate and casual enough that I don’t think your friends or family should really judge anyway. And the fact that you are not asking for gifts is good too. Personally I might be self conscious about making it a potluck but that is just me. If you’re really torn about the whole thing maybe see parents or a sibling can host it in their backyard? Maybe that will ease you a bit?

BBQ is fine IMO - I do agree about it not being the usual to make it potluck but by the sounds of it that's only if they INSIST that they bring something.

As for when to send out the STD's - I would say you are good to not send them out until the 1 year mark of your wedding so you could wait until mid July to send those out.

An engagement BBQ is exactly what my FH and I are going to do. It doesn't have to be some extravagant party - save that time and effort (and money) for your big day. The BBQ gives us the opportunity to introduce our extended families to each other and get everyone acquainted in a relaxing and comfortable environment.

As for the gifts/pot luck idea - I really like that. Not calling it a potluck but reminding people that gifts are not necessary and that we would just like their company - however if they would like to bring something they can bring some food/snacks/dessert to share with everyone.

My parents technically hosted ours- this was because they offered their place to use as our back yard is small. We supplied it all they just supplied the place. We did a bbq and lawn games, it went over very well. We said byob but did supply some booze. we did it from 4pm- whenever with dinner at 6pm on Saturday. It went over really well.

I think you’re idea is great!

This is what we would likely do if we had an engagement party. Something casual and low key.

We didn't have an engagement party, honestly everyone knew it was coming, lol.

I think whatever you want to do is perfectly fine.

My soon to be brother in law had pot luck buffet style and it turned out fine and everyone had a good time.

I think it's more common now to host your own engagement party. I know my sister hosted her own back in 2015 and I hosted my own in February. I think your BBQ idea sounds great! Engagement parties don't need to be fancy! It's just a good way to get your family and friends together to celebrate and get to know each other.

Personally I had mine from 2-5 on a Sunday and I had it at my parents house since my apartment would've been to small. But I planned everything myself. Since I didn't want to have to serve a meal I had it after lunch and before dinner, but I had lots of appies and got some cupcakes and drinks as well.