Kalle
Newbie July 2020 Saskatchewan

Fundraising for wedding

Kalle, on 22/March/2019 at 00:19 Posted in Before the wedding
How many women had fundraisers to help the costs of wedding? My fiancé’s family are planning all these different kinds of fundraisers and I personally feel like it’s cheap to do that. I just believe that it’s the couples responsibility to pay for their wedding. I don’t want to to be rude and tell them no but it makes me uncomfortable asking ppl to help pay for my wedding.
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18 Comments

  • Donna Yeung
    Devoted August 2018 British Columbia
    Donna Yeung ·

    I agree Kalle, I personally find the idea of fundraisers kind of tacky. Usually the bride/groom pay for all or part of the wedding if there is help from the parents. Other than that, it's no one elses responsibility to help pay for the wedding. It's your wedding, and if it makes you feel uncomfortable, just say no and let them know you will pay for the wedding on your own.

  • Candace
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Candace ·

    We had the typical Stag and Doe to help us raise some funds for the bar, since we announced it would be an open bar lots of people were happy to come along and help out. I think anything more than that might be overdoing it a bit. Talk to them and just explain that you would rather just do one big one and that is it. They should understand

  • Erin
    Super May 2020 Ontario
    Erin ·
    I feel like for me having a raffle or 50/50 at the wedding reception would change the vibe or feeling from reception/ celebration to something else. I am from Ontario where stag and does are common, although haven't been to one in ages.
  • Veronica
    Featured October 2020 Alberta
    Veronica ·

    I agree with you Kalle, I find the idea of fundraising for the wedding uncomfortable, just don't have the wedding you can't afford. However - a co worker who moved here from Manitoba explained the wedding social to me, and how it is part of of the process there. So now I am not sure, I wonder where it originated from in each provinces that has a style of fundraising and the rest of us do not? Just curious lol.

    Also, the idea of a wedding social, buck & doe aka a party for people as a fundraiser seems like a way nicer idea then just fundraising though, I can completely get the concept and would be curious if it became more of a thing elsewhere! I have heard of a couple people gofundme their wedding and I ..just cringe. So many other causes out there that need funds. So not sure which type of fundraising you are referring to but definitely have a conversation with your FH!

  • Alix
    Featured June 2020 Saskatchewan
    Alix ·
    View quoted message

    Like Tori said, it's basically a big party. Our tickets are $10 and there will be door prizes, raffle baskets, a 50/50 draw and a pie in the face game (there will be a jar for the best man and a jar for the maid of honor and people can put money into the jar of the person they want to see get a pie in the face). We got a lot of prizes donated. Our grand prize is a pair of beats headphones that are worth around $300. Some of our other prizes are a family photo gift certificate from a professional photographer, artwork from local artists, a local tattoo shop is putting together something for us, my brother who is a massage therapist donated $500 worth of gift certificates but we will probably split them up into different baskets. There are a few others. We just have to figure out what we want to put together in baskets.

    For drink tickets we are charging 1 for $3 and 2 for $5

    For raffle and 50/50 tickets 1 for $2, 3 for $5 and an arms length (10) for $10

  • Tori
    Featured October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori Online ·
    View quoted message

    Oh boy! Loaded question!

    Basically it's a big party that is on a Friday or Saturday usually from 8pm-1am (but mine is from 9-2!).

    Tickets are $10 each and drink (alcoholic) tickets are usually kept low at around $3-$4 each. Tables are set up with chairs and chips are put out to snack on all while there is a DJ playing music. So a big party! You sometimes have a door prize (sometimes based on showing up before 10pm), and you can buy raffle tickets, 50/50 tickets, and tickets for a texas mickey.

    Raffle ticket packages are usually $20, $40, $60 and $100 - the highest one usually has a golden ticket that can't be bought without getting the package.

    My social has roughly 15 "regular" prizes worth $250 each, 4 "grand" prizes worth $500 each, and one "golden" prize worth $1,500!

    At roughly 11pm is when the good food is put out. More common nowadays people are supplying pizza from Pizza Hotline or Domino's but the traditional social food is: bread, pickles, deli meat, cheese, etc. to make sandwiches.

    To see a list of the prizes that I'm talking about: Buck and Doe Question

  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
    View quoted message

    Northwestern Ontario: not quite Manitoba, but not like Southern Ontario either! That should be our motto or something lol.

  • Kalle
    Newbie July 2020 Saskatchewan
    Kalle ·
    View quoted message
    So what exactly is a social?? My in laws are just doing 50/50 and draws
  • Tori
    Featured October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori Online ·
    View quoted message

    Yes! Stag/Buck & Doe's, Socials, and Shag's! lol

    Also I just want to note that these events (or at least socials) are meant to party with people who will not be invited to your wedding but want to celebrate!! Our venue for the social holds 300 people and out of those 300 less than 100 will be invited to the wedding (and our wedding is 250 people!).

  • Alix
    Featured June 2020 Saskatchewan
    Alix ·

    We are in Saskatchewan and are having a social in June. We know it is not very common but we wanted to try it anyway. We've gotten mixed reviews on it. Some think it's a great idea and others are on the edge. But we thought we will try and if anything it will just be a big party. We're making ours 80s themed so people can get dressed up and there's going to be 80s music etc. So far we have around 40 people that have confirmed they're going so I think it will be a pretty good turn out.

  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
    View quoted message

    Or shag if you're Thunder Bay/Northern Ontario lol Smiley winking

    If you're not in Ontario or Manitoba, I wouldn't have a wedding fundraiser event since it can be seen as offputting/distasteful. Have a chat with your FH's family and let them know this is something you'd want to skip.

  • Valérie
    VIP September 2019 Quebec
    Valérie ·

    Though pre-wedding socials aren't really a thing where I'm from, it's not uncommon to see 50/50 draws and raffles during the reception.

    My biggest problem with draws/raffles during the reception is that guests feel pressured to give their winnings back to the couple. It's definitely hard to witness when the couple who won, isn't used to the custom, and doesn't "graciously give the money back to the newlyweds". I've seen it and it's cringeworthy and definitely puts a damper on the guests' (and the newlyweds') evening.

    My dad kept asking me about a 50/50 draw at our wedding reception and I had to shut him down quick. He was disappointed but I told him it's a wedding, not a hockey game. Plus, we're already asking guests for gifts of money.... the last thing I want is to milk our guests dry.

    If you feel uncomfortable about it, I would suggest sitting down with your FH to find a compromise, so that both of you (and his family) are happy.

  • Tori
    Featured October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori Online ·

    Basically what it's sounding like is:

    Ontario = Stag & Doe or Buck & Doe fundraisers are very common

    Manitoba = Socials are expected equally as much as a wedding shower would be

    Every other province = distasteful

    I think everyone can agree on that, it's whatever you were brought up around Smiley smile

  • Gina
    Super April 2019 Alberta
    Gina ·
    I think you’ll have people who are on different ends of he spectrum here. I personally think if you can’t afford your dream wedding, then take it down a couple notches. Do what you can afford. I’m in Alberta, and you don’t do any kind of fundraising for a wedding here. I would much rather go to a fundraising event for a charity, not a couple who wants help paying for their wedding. I don’t know, I hate to call it tacky and offend people, but the idea of it doesn’t sit well with me. I’m glad it’s not a thing here lol
  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·

    Its quiet common in Ontario and not considered rude or tacky. It's honestly the persons personal views on it. If in your case you think it isn't something you want, then don't do it.

    I am doing it and I am in Ontario. It is a huge where I am from and people don't see it in a bad lighting. I have had people raise what Tori mentioned. Some people had money and still raised because they waned a dream wedding and weren't quiet there.

  • Peggy
    Super May 2019 Alberta
    Peggy ·

    From what I've seen, it's normal in Manitoba but elsewhere in the country is really considered quite rude. I would sit down and have a conversation with them - and I would go with the customs of the province you're in. If you're in Manitoba, go for it. If you're elsewhere, if it were me, I'd put my foot down.

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