Chelsea
Master August 2017 Ontario

Feeling down and upset

Chelsea, on 16/June/2017 at 16:49 Posted in Before the wedding

For the past couple months I have been getting bullied at work by this one girl. I work at a group home and I work overnights so there is only 2 staff on during a shift. I work with 2 different girls and one is my best friend, we hang out outside of work and she is invited to my wedding etc. The other girl is newer (not finished her 3 month probation period). She is very lazy and not hardworking like I am and that bothers me because I constantly have to pick up her slack and with only 1 other staff on shift, it makes it very tiring for me because the shifts are between 9-12 hours and sometimes I don't get a break because of her. I made the mistake of venting to one of the other staff about this new girl being lazy and because of it, I didn't enjoy working with her... this staff went to her and told her and ever since she has been bullying me. She has yelled at me on shift, she said that nobody at work likes me and staff get together in groups and talk bad about me, she said that people call me the Nazi which is completely disrespectful, she said that she doesn't understand how my fiancé who is so religious could be with such a mean spirited girl like me who probably treats him like crap which honestly really hurt my feelings, and then the other day she called me a "c u next Tuesday" to put it politely. She also told me my friend Sarah hates me and wants to quit because of me. I am deeply hurt by everything she said, because I felt bad for talking behind her back instead of just confronting her, and so I apologized to her and admitted I was in the wrong and I should also have given her a fair chance. Now she just verbally attacks me and is always putting me down. Anyways I had a meeting with my supervisor to report the bullying and this girl denied everything she has said and lied about it all. She also has been telling other staff at work lies about me which is hurting my friendships. I also had another staff go to my supervisor to say I am being bullied on shift and yet nothing is being done about it. I came home crying Tuesday and am scared to work with this other girl and because of it I need to quit my job. I feel like this couldn't have happened at a worse time because the wedding is in August and all the payments are due next month and trying to find a new full time job with benefits and willing to work around the fact I have a wedding and honeymoon booked and two weddings in September, is just really going to be hard and I just don't know what to do. I am feeling super down the past week and just needed to vent.

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11 Comments

  • Sonja
    VIP September 2017 Ontario
    Sonja ·

    Don't quit. Push back and if they choose to fire you, you're entitled to severance and EI. Contact the labour board and put in a complaint that your superiors are not dealing with the bullying issue. What they want you to do is walk away. Then they don't have to pay severance. If it were me, I would become more "the Nazi" she accused you of being and push her out. Fight for what is right. It may be hard and not in your character, but bullies need someone to push back.

  • Laura
    Super September 2017 Alberta
    Laura ·

    I am so sorry you are going through this. That is awful! Do you have a union or an HR department or some sort of organization you can report harassment through. This is clearly harassment and your supervisor has an obligation to act to stop it. As other have said document it but don't allow the other person to push you out, they are in the wrong and there are things that you can and should do to make your workplace a safe space. Check out the Ontario labour laws because I am not familiar with anything other than how to handle it where I work.

  • Simone
    Master August 2017 Manitoba
    Simone ·
    Hey Chelsea, I'm sorry you are going through this and I agree with what has been said. Hang in there and be strong.
  • Zoë
    Master June 2020 Ontario
    Zoë ·

    Chelsea! So sorry to hear this! But you have 2 options: What you could do is ignore it, like act like it doesn't affect you. At the end she will stop, because it won't be funny anymore. Also you could instead of talking to the supervisor, talk to her. Ask her to come for a coffee and explain her what you feel, that you rather work in a nice environment and if she would be able to forget the past and start over with you. Always remember to keep your enemies close. But don't worry, this things happen! You should be positive and think about your Wedding what is going to be super awesome! Smiley heart you are a Smiley star

  • Rekramer
    Expert November 2018 Ontario
    Rekramer ·
    That's horrible and you shouldn't be subjected to it. It's crazy that your coworkers who have known you for ages don't realize which one of you is the problem. I've had that happen to me and all I can say is, it really shows you who your friends are and who will stick their neck out for you.
  • Bethany
    Super August 2017 Alberta
    Bethany ·
    You shouldn't have to be subjected to that in any area of life so I understand wanting to quit and take yourself out of that situation. simply tell your boss that you refuse to work with her anymore. You don't want to be put on any of the same shifts. Take control. I had the luxury of asking for a transfer when I was hating my job. And I got one and I was happier.
  • Lisa
    VIP May 2018 Ontario
    Lisa ·
    Amen! Well said!
  • Katherine
    Super September 2017 New Brunswick
    Katherine ·
    Document everything... Keep a daily journal, write down all of your conversations... Save copies of emails on a flash drive... Basically CYA... I was discriminated against at my last job (gender)... Last week they finally offered me a settlement that I can live with... The things I mentioned above really helped me... As to the bully, don't let that b*t*h drive you out of your job... Don't let her see it bothers you... I would pretend she doesn't exist (bullys hate that)
  • Lisa
    VIP May 2018 Ontario
    Lisa ·
    Sorry to hear you are going through all that Chelsea! I agree with Erin! Do not let this person get away with it! She is clearly jealous of You! Even if you do get fired you can sue them for wrongful dismissal! They can't fire you because you are being bullied. Your true friends will know who you are, and if they don't, they are not your friends at All! Do not let this girl take your power! You take your power back!
  • Chelsea
    Master August 2017 Ontario
    Chelsea ·

    I basically got told if I have to go into a meeting at the office, then I will be fired which is really stupid when I feel like the victim. So I feel like it would be better for me to quit. We sign off on the duties that we accomplish during shift and I have already reported her multiple times for slacking and nothing seems to be done about it. I just am not happy anymore so I feel like I need to move on.

  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
    I'm so sorry to hear this Chelsea! I have also worked with people who aren't as hard working as I am and I understand your stress. I have also worked with bullying coworkers. It is difficult to deal with day in and day out and can really bring you down. I know you said nothing is being done and that's frustrating for sure but I don't think you should quit your job because of this person, especially if you really like your job. You are already having so many stresses with planning your wedding and honeymoon, having to worry about your employment should be the last thing on your plate. Maybe you can find a way to work around each other on shift. I would also suggest keeping a log of your work and stopping picking up after your coworker. Once they realize she isn't pulling her weight, things may change. I know none of this is any real help but I hope you understand that we support you. I hope things work out for you. Good luck and keep your chin up!

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