Help me figure this out?

I think it would be okay for them pay for their own drinks, as you are covering the costs of everything else and not asking for gifts

Thanks, Helen! Sounds like we are on similar pages! I’ll run that by fh and see what he thinks too!

I am hearing more and more of people doing toonie bars but another option would be doing a cash bar but offering guests a few drink tickets. With drink tickets you are not loosing too much and if you had a few guests you wanted to offer more tickets to you absolutely could.

For western Canada (Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Alberta not sure about BC) toonie bars are the norm (I was quickly informed that open bars almost unheard of in sask). Ask around for feedback from weddings they have been to and have a few questions with 1 being cash or open bar. Your guests will be your closest friends and family so i would suggest considering what they would think?

You know them best and would they be good with just wine? If so just serve wine all night.

Would they used to or fine with paying for drinks other than wine? If so go with a cash bar outside of table wine.

Almost exact (except our first wedding) to your situation and we have been going back and forth, esp since there is cost to each attendee to do the travel and stay. We've decided to offer wine, local beer and a signature drink. If that is not good enough then you are welcome to buy yourself a scotch! (not wording it like that This way we can control the cost, still offer 3 types of free booze and not have a full cash bar/twoonie bar that neither of us wanted to do.

We are putting menus on each table setting, at the bottom will be

Hosted Bar

Wine (named)

Beer (named)

Cocktail xxxx

You could do it similarly on a sign at the bar itself.

I don't think a cash bar is tacky at all. We had friends who had a toonie bar up until a certain amount they agreed upon with the venue and then things went up to full price and everyone was happy with that.

I think Brittany's wording is perfect if you do go with a cash bar - which, by the way, is totally acceptable!

However, toonie bars are a happy medium if the venue will allow it. And if the venue does not allow a toonie bar, then you could also do drink tickets plus cash bar. Basically, you would pre-pay for a certain number of drinks per guest and provide that number of drink tickets to each guest and then they pay for any additional drinks on top of that.

Or you could include a cocktail hour in between the ceremony and dinner during which you provide drinks but host a cash bar during the reception.

There is no right or wrong here. You need to respect your budget and if a full open bar isn't in the budget then it isn't in the budget - no one is going to resent you for it and if they do they're a dbag.

I've been to many weddings over the years and I've seen every single one of these alternatives and had a great time at all of them. I do think that because all your guests are traveling for the wedding, it would be nice of you if you are able to provide something, but it is not an obligation and you don't need to feel bad if you can't or don't. I'd say that providing wine with dinner is pretty standard though.

Cash bars are becoming more common. Just indicate on the invitation, something like “ceremony t at this time, followed by reception at this time with cash bar”

We will be having 2 wine bottles per table along with our venue package. Other than that we aren’t able to afford a host bar as we have about 200 guests. So I would think how much will those 40-45 people drink. It may not be much so then you can decide if you want to do a host bar, but also if you can’t afford then it’s okay to say on the invitations it will be a cash bar. That’s what we will be doing.

Before I started doing research for my own wedding, I would have said a cash bar was awful, but now, I get it. Do what you have to do. Brittany's wording was good for it.

As my husband and i gor married, i was particular in how you are phrasing the gifts line. Another way to say no boxed or monatory gifts, it can be phrased as

Gifts are welcome as donations to CHARITY NAME on behalf of our generosity. Please be prepared as it there will be a Cash Bar.

Cash bars are not as bad as you think it is. Many venues are charging for every hour after the 3 hours time given on the contract. It's crazy how much more you pay for open bar to get out of you two.

Theres nothing wrong with a cash bar! You could split the difference and have a toonie bar that's what we are doing. We decided on it mostly because open bars are messy and generally pretty wasteful, but it's also a good way to at least be able to make some of your money back on the bar!

You guys are great, thanks for the support and ideas!

I really like the line you have come up with to let you guests know that you would not like any gifts. I also don't think anyone would be upset about their being a cash bar since you are not expecting gifts.

Similar to Brittany's idea if you said something like "Dinner at 6pm with cash bar and party to follow" or something along those lines.

I think that it is totally fine to have a cash bar, people don't understand just how expensive it really is until they have their own wedding. As for letting them know - if there is an ATM then I wouldn't even bother letting my guests know other than the suggested wedding website mention.

I agree if you are not asking for gifts perhaps a cash bar would be okay! Maybe word it in the invites that instead of gifts we ask that you bring a few loose bills to use at the cash bar? Something along those lines for those who might feel they NEED to get you a gift still can see they can put their money to that instead!

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Thanks, Brittany - appreciate your input!

It will say right on my wedding website, "Welcome Cocktail & Wine, Cash Bar to Follow"...

People don't always expect an open bar. Especially not anymore... it can be so incredibly costly... It's not like on the East Coast either where people can pay by the bottle for their open bar, most BC & AB venues you pay host price by the drink.... and it really adds up.

We are giving out tickets for a welcome drink, then putting one red and one white wine bottle on each table

Especially since you're not asking for gifts, I'd be shocked if any of your guests were genuinely upset for not getting an open bar...