What's one piece of advice you'd give your past self?

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I have definitely spend extra money on things I know I really want, knowing it'll make my day that much more special!

"Spend the extra money"

I know it's just one day, but spending a little extra on something you really want can make the difference!

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Ah fair enough. One of my ex-friends dated an Indian guy whose parents were hard at accepting the fact she was not Indian.

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Honestly, we did and we both would've been happy with a smaller, more intimate affair. My parents however offered to host a larger wedding and it's caused some feather ruffling but we're 38 days now so can't exactly revamp everything.

If I could go back in time, I would advocate and be more assertive to what my FH and I want and my parents could take it or leave it. Now, I'm hoping in 10 years to do a vow-renewal that's more in-line with what we wanted for the wedding.

View quoted message Husbands family no beacause they knew he was and that i was coming. I had come out late in my life trying to tell them at a younger age. Indian parents are hard to accept in the beginning.

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My FH always joked that he'd go get measured for his a suit a week before... I rolled my eyes every time lol. We did get him fitted in June and the groomsmen were all fitted by the 60 day mark set out by the suit rental place.

I've also dealt with "we have lots of time" and going to "we have not a lot of time!" - mostly with DIYs lol

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Lol yes!! I remember you having some issues earlier on. I hope things are easier moving forward now!

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Did your families have a hard time accepting a same-sex wedding? That would've been tough to manage on top of planning a wedding.

I wish my FH and i had discussed his vision of the wedding day as well. he initially said he just wanted to marry me but then as we started to plan things he was SOOO picky about anything and everything and wanted to customize everything hahaha

I would tell myself to MAKE THE BOYS TRY THEIR SUITS ON EARLY. Since we had such a long engagement, everyone fell into the mentality that there's "lots of time"... Well, there was and now there isn't, and finding out that one of the suits is completely the wrong colour two weeks before the wedding isn't exactly ideal... It's being handled, and honestly, it's no skin off my back (if the suit isn't right, the guy would have been out of the wedding party - I just don't want him or my fiance getting upset about it when this whole scenario was completely avoidable).

Keep wedding party small! This is a giant head ache for me and really consider who you have in it. I wish I only did 4 if that for a wedding party. I would have even been fine with just picking one to be even easier.

Two years in our marriage. I would go back 3.5 years back to tell myself to have my family understand that marriage rituals don't apply to just regular couples, times are changing and accepting to carry on towards couples getting married. This being said, the planning would have been easier to lie as to the events planned and when. They could have accepted and said yes to helping out. Vice versa of saying no would incline to not showing up as to the immediate family and nothing financially.

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That's how I've coped too!

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That's tough since you both wanted different things. He would've been happy with a smaller wedding, I'm starting to think I'd be happier with that too.

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I totally needed this advice too!

I've coped with it by just telling myself that people are really excited and they can't help having a strong opinion.

Follow your heart. Mine said elope. His said wedding. Went with his heart. Now we both wish we’d followed mine.

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Oh definitely!! I agree 110%

View quoted message I feel you!!!

I do want to be close to our families in someway. But not down the street!

I want to make sure when we start thinking amount having a family, they’re close by if I need help. But that’s still a while away, it’s just easier to plan because it’s expensive to break a 5 year mortgage!

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We thought about moving to my hometown, but it's too close to my parents for me lol

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Omg, yes!! Great advice, wish I had followed this more in the beginning (looking at you Guest list!)

View quoted message We’re looking as far as Burlington - it’s all expensive lol our families live in Mississauga and Brampton and the homes are closing in on a million. It’s INSANE!

KW market is ok in comparison to Toronto. London, Ontario has the best market for house value but that’s far far far away from our jobs.

Hmmm.. I would have to tell myself just to take a second and really think of what WE want, not what is expected of us. In the end it all worked out to exactly how we wanted but for awhile in the beginning I was searching for validation and ideas from everyone instead of just letting myself take a second to think of how I wanted my day to be (decor/ guest list wise)

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Ugh, yeah Toronto sucks for housing! We're in Thunder Bay right now and housing market is really decent here. My FH and I are looking to move to K-W area someday which doesn't have as nice of a market, but better than Toronto.

Would you consider moving outside and commuting? Or do you want to be in the city?

View quoted message The housing market in Toronto is such a joke!! Can’t get anything decent for half a million dollars.

hopefully we find something!

Thats great you have a home right now! I wish we did but it just wasn’t possible for many reasons oh well, to the future!

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Ugh, same!!

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I feel this so much right now!

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Oh yes, mine have been involved from the beginning. But being more assertive in some decisions is for sure something I wish I would have done!

Advice to my past self?

Elope.

View quoted message Yes!! At the end of the day, if you and your FH/FW like it, it’s good enough! As soon as you mention wedding, people have 30,000 opinions suddenly!

View quoted message Lol good advice!
My parents were involved from the get-go so the definitely had their influence on the wedding. For me, I wish I was more assertive with some aspects but I see where you are coming from!

View quoted message Nice! FH had bought a house right before we started dating, so we have a place, but it’s small! We’re hoping to move a year after the wedding into something more permanent

Oooh what a good discussion topic.

I think my biggest piece of advice to my former self would be to try and not take people's unsolicited opinions so personally. From joining this board i have seen that most brides seem to have to deal with friends/relatives who have an opinion on everything and are suddenly "wedding experts".