Sandra
Newbie September 2019 Ontario

We're sober ... how do we raise money? (stag/doe)

Sandra, on 7/June/2018 at 19:58 Posted in Before the wedding

Totally breaking our anonymity, but my fiancé and I are both sober and in recovery. With that being said, most of our friends are also sober and in recovery. We keep getting asked if we're planning a stag and doe, and we honestly don't think it really makes sense for us because literally none of our friends drink & we know alcohol is were you usually make the money. (Plus, we're having an open bar at our wedding, so realistically spending a bunch of money on booze for the stag & doe is kind of annoying)

We are in a 12 step program and a lot of people within fellowship want to support us (so sweet and special) ... what do we do? Are there any other ways to fundraise?

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24 Replies

  • Helen
    Frequent user September 2018 British Columbia
    Helen ·
    View quoted message

    We did one of these, just for fun, in a historic town in BC so it was walkable and there were lots neat places to scout. I think each team paid 10 or 20 bucks. One of you had to be in the picture with the found "item" (or things like a dog at the coffee shop patio, 2 old people holding hands , one point for every church bell spotted etc) We all raced back to the pub for lunch, but any resto would do, and then tallied up the points and split the winnings 50/50 with the winner getting half and the other half going to charity. I loved it, the pics were creative and you will have a ton of memories already captured for you! Now I want to do one

  • Carolyn
    Frequent user August 2020 Nova Scotia
    Carolyn ·
    View quoted message

    Glad to have been of help!

    Good thing is you can include items too, like, if the first bouquet you got was of daisies, getting pictures of that flower so the teams have a bit of variation on their paths too. We had to find a sock monkey in the one I participated in (as a team). That was interesting to try and find, and everyone came back with interesting tales of finding it...lol

  • Sandra
    Newbie September 2019 Ontario
    Sandra ·
    View quoted message

    I never thought about a photo scavenger hunt! That is an awesome idea. I think we could also get super creative with it and make it share our story like where we met, first date, first kiss, etc. Texting my MOH right now. Thanks for the idea!

  • Geneviève
    Devoted September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·

    Congrats on your sobriety!

    I agree that raffles and auctions are often a big money-maker. I went to a stag and doe where three of the raffle baskets were equestrian themed cause the bride had a horse, so it doesn't have to be centred around alcohol.

    Activity centres are often good; cheesy stuff like dunk tanks, karaoke, bingo, or food/drink stations work well. My family is pushing for us to have one and have gambling at it like crown and anchor or poker, but that's not my scene personally.

    Honey funds or resort registries exist too if people are looking more at contributing financially to your wedding/honeymoon.

  • Vinod
    Master August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    Congrats pn being sober to you two and your friends first of all.

    If you want to think about fundraising before your wedding, it does help to get support for payments or savings towards your honeymoon. If not a fundraiser, how about a honeymoon funds so they can help you to give. As for drinks, get the venue to have purely only non-alcoholic.
  • Jocelyn
    Expert August 2018 Ontario
    Jocelyn ·
    Auctions/raffles would be good.
  • Jennifer
    Expert July 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
    A few people i know have just done raffle prizes instead of a stag and doe. Get some really great prizes. Get donated if you can. Create a fb even to drum up support.
    Do a live draw on fb
  • Carolyn
    Frequent user August 2020 Nova Scotia
    Carolyn ·

    Congrats on sobriety and all the best for the journey ahead with it. :-)

    I will be honest that, until I got on WeddingWire and similar sites, I had no idea Stag & Doe's even existed...Seems to be the trend with posters I have read...lol.

    I am no stranger to fundraising though. 50/50 draws are the only guaranteed way to come in the clear for all my experience.

    Another idea to consider is an photo scavenger hunt. You come up with a list of items that will take people on an adventure in teams all over the city to take a photos and all gather for pizza (or some sort of foods) at the end and compare adventure stories. Each team pays to participate and you could have prizes for the first group or two that get back with the full list.

  • Peggy
    Expert May 2019 Alberta
    Peggy ·

    First - good job on your sobriety. It's fantastic that you have such a great support network around you!

    I've never heard of this before - I don't think it's a thing in Alberta. I can't offer much advice but - I'd say consider other options. Unless you really need to raise money, have a bridal shower (usually a small afternoon party for the bride, thrown by the bridesmaids/MoB/FMIL so no cost to the bride, sometimes with gifts from guests to the bride for her future married life - I'm having a tea party!). It gives you a great non-alcohol involved way to have friends celebrate with you.

    And/or have a bachelorette party that doesn't include alcohol - A spa day, or painting night or some such?

  • Tatiana
    Expert April 2018 Ontario
    Tatiana ·

    We didn't have a stag and doe at all. To be honest you can accomplish a lot by just budgeting for the items and events you want at your wedding and shopping around or DIY'ing. Plus now a days you can just have an engagement party and register for a honeymoon fund or something similar. That is what a friend of mine did

  • Andie
    Devoted May 2019 Ontario
    Andie ·
    I would say do a sober stag and doe if you think people would still come (and I bet they would!) In terms of other fundraisers, we did a giant wedding party yardsale (def didn’t make as much as a stag and doe though). I’ve also seen people just raffling off one big prize (like beer for a year although that wouldn’t really work...) online and in person with no stag and doe
  • D
    Newbie June 2018 Ontario
    Diya ·
    Congratulations on your sobriety..
    the concept of fundraiser (stag and doe etc.) is very alien to us..
    i would recommend going with what you can afford

  • Helen
    Frequent user September 2018 British Columbia
    Helen ·
    View quoted message
    Go with it! It should be a thing here too, would certainly help but we're all too chill doing yoga too start a trend lol! You are very fortunate to have good people that care about YOU! They'll understand if they can't make it, that's the beauty of it. It's comforting having people want to support you simply because they're good people and so are you.
  • B
    Devoted September 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
    Quarter Auctions are fun too!
  • Clarissa
    Expert October 2018 Saskatchewan
    Clarissa ·
    We are not doing one but I did help friends when they had theirs back in Ontario (many years ago). And honestly they are way more effort than they are worth most of the time and it is actually really easy to loose money on them unless you are well organized and can get all your prizes donated.

    If it doesn’t feel like the right event for the two of you I say just skip it. But I’m also of the mind set that just plan a wedding that you can afford. But I have seen where the bridal party decided to do a fundraiser for the couple (they also did not want a social) and they sold raffle/lottery tickets and held a chase the ace night.
  • B
    Devoted September 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
    Jack and Jill with a bunch of Door prizes and 50/50 Draws/Tickets? With snacks and food, Minus the alcohol.

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