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Frequent user November 2021 Ontario

Wedding Traditions or Cliches That You Are Avoiding?

Racheal, on October 3, 2019 at 19:32 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 28

Are there any wedding traditions or wedding cliches that you and your FW/FH are avoiding during your wedding? How about any new traditions that you are including?

Personally, I really dislike the "cake smashing" trend, clinking glasses to get the couple to kiss, and the garter toss. I think we'll be doing a lock-and-key style for the bouquet toss . I fell in love with it after a wedding we attended a few years back! It went on passively throughout the dance/evening and when the person with the right key finally made her attempt, everyone cheered and toasted.

I'd love to hear the trends you all are trying out or considering, and the ones you've left behind.

Smiley ring Smiley heart

28 Comments

Latest activity by Marissa, on October 15, 2019 at 00:07
  • Marissa
    Frequent user October 2021 Alberta
    Marissa ·
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    No offense to anyone doing this! Not sure why, but I don't like those signs that say things like "pick a seat not a side you're loved by both the groom and bride", or "last chance to run". Also cake toppers where the bride is dragging the groom.
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  • Cynthia
    Curious August 2020 Ontario
    Cynthia ·
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    Where to start lol


    My fiancé does not have any groomsmen, I do not have any bridesmaid. My sister is maid of honour though but will not be standing next to me.
    We are not doing garter. Instead of throwing the bouquet I am going to pretend to throw it then give it to my sister.
    We are doing a ceremony of 10 ppl. (My parents, his mom, few friends)Then our reception is at the restaurant we had our first date. My cousin will play the guitar and sing so no band.
    All our flowers are artificial.
    We are doing cake cutting and our first dance though. Unsure for speeches yet...
    We are doing first look pictures. Also first look with my dad and he will be doing photos with his mother prior putting on his boutonnière.
    No rsvp cards, I’ll be calling instead. No open bar.We will have a signature drink for everyone though.
    I will NOT be wearing heels.
    We will be giving our daughter a necklace or bracelet during the ceremony to symbolize us become a family.
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  • Michelle
    Curious October 2020 Ontario
    Michelle ·
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    I absolutely hate glass clinking. I never understood why adults decided banging their silverware on their glasses is appropriate. I’ve selected a beautiful high end venue so people should show some class Smiley smile. The concept that we would be expected to make out on command for our families’ enjoyment also seems really creepy lol. Also no cake smashing or bouquet/garter toss.
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  • Katelyn
    Curious September 2020 British Columbia
    Katelyn ·
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    Ditching the garter and bouquet toss (I’m drying my flowers and putting them in a shadow box), no “kissing game”, we’re opting for a small cutting cake and cupcakes, and ditching “something old, new, borrowed, blue”. Plus our ceremony is going to be shorter (30 mins max) so we can have more reception time, as our venue requires us to be out by 11pm.
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  • B
    Frequent user July 2020 Saskatchewan
    Brett ·
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    We are bucking pretty much the whole system when we get married next summer, no speeches other then myself and husband thanking people for coming, no sweetheart/head table, no daddy/daughter(not by choice) dance (mother/son dance is up in the air, I don’t think they need a spotlighted dance but leaving it up to the two of them to decide). No cake at all just cupcakes, no tosses of either kind. No wedding favours,
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  • R
    Frequent user November 2021 Ontario
    Racheal ·
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    Wedding fruit cake?!


    Aren't fruit cakes universally known as being awful?

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  • Stephanie
    Frequent user July 2021 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    We are doing cake cutting, but not cake smashing. We are having a small wedding cake for the pictures and display.
    I am not a fan of parent dances so we are undecided on those.
    We will have a kissing game, just not clinking the glasses.
    We don't plan on spending the night before the wedding together or seeing each other the day of the wedding till I walk down the isle.
    There will be NO old school wedding/fruit cake.
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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Yeah we're not doing a garter toss, parent dances, bouquet toss or cake cutting etc. we got other entertainment which i think guests will enjoy. i find those weddings are boring playing the same games over and over and doing the exact same thing at every wedding

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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    There's too many to count that we hated and didn't include. The biggest one was not throwing a bouquet. I just hate that and didn't want any part of it.

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Love the lock and key idea for the guests trying to get the bouquet. The one thing that could be done is getting all the same keys as the lock as guests won't be able to open it. Your husband should have the key and open it himself to surprise everyone. The birdcage looks nice though for the concept.

    We didn't do anything floral as being real or for the ceremony as the venue had huge pots with flowers at the altar. The rental of floral balls and vases were as simple as it went.

    I do find the cake smashing concept unneeded due to the mess and waste of chocolate end of the night. Another unneeded concept seems to be clinging glasses. Our concept was ringing the bells that held the menu cards as kids got the entertainment out of it too.


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  • Liga
    Devoted June 2021 Quebec
    Liga ·
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    Wow...I love the way it`is sounds ( about keys and unlocking the box ). After your article, I'm rethinking! Do I really want to throw my flower bouquet.

    I like your idea, but it will add some more expenses for me.

    So, maybe I could go with ribbon pulling!

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  • R
    Frequent user November 2021 Ontario
    Racheal ·
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    Definitely matches your theme flawlessly, and can be super fun and inclusive!

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  • R
    Frequent user November 2021 Ontario
    Racheal ·
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    RVSP-ing to your wedding ASAP; it sounds amazing and like a lot of fun. Smiley winking

    I love the intimacy of your process with your future husband and how much you have considered your guests and loved ones!

    The lock-and-key or lock-box style bouquet "toss" goes like this:

    1) You can either distribute keys to female guests (heck, even male guests, it's 2019) OR have a station set up where guests can pick a key of their own throughout the night. The keys can be identical, personalized, or random.

    2) The bouquet is placed in a locked box or cage after the bride and groom enter the reception area.

    3) Throughout the night, guests who have chosen or received keys can attempt to unlock the box. This can be done passively as the night goes on, or at a staged/scheduled time with everyone together.

    4) The lucky lady (or gent) with the magic key is usually bought a drink/celebrated in some small way.

    Here are some photo inspiration:


    3420ecfa68b874f549b0fa173fa0445c--weddin

    wedding-travellers-destination-wedding-pWedding Traditions or Cliches That You Are Avoiding? 1

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  • R
    Frequent user November 2021 Ontario
    Racheal ·
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    Right? Literally ANYTHING is better than spending $300 on a wedding cake and $200 on wedding makeup and hair just to end up sticky and have both ruined.

    I, too, find the garter toss very intimate.

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  • R
    Frequent user November 2021 Ontario
    Racheal ·
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    I love this.
    My cousin and her now-husband were married last August and also had their "fifteen minutes in heaven" between the ceremony and reception/dinner (I'm forever a 7TH grader, I know). Their photographer captured some absolutely beautiful emotions as they unwound and had their first moments as husband & wife.
    You and your FH are going to love that special moment, too! SUCH a good idea and very much a needed break!

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  • R
    Frequent user November 2021 Ontario
    Racheal ·
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    I love the creativity with the putting mat! It makes it fun rather than an awkward gesture. Sounds like your guests loved it!

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  • Caitlyn
    Super January 2020 Ontario
    Caitlyn ·
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    We're doing a cake cutting but not a cake smashing. It's not really a tradition, but the entrance of the bridal party and couple to music at the start of the reception kind of reminds me of announcing the starting lineup of a sports team, so we will just personally introduce each of our wedding party members at the beginning of dinner once people are seated.

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  • Alix
    Expert June 2021 Saskatchewan
    Alix ·
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    We're not doing the cake smashing, garter toss or bouquet toss.

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  • Valérie
    VIP September 2019 Quebec
    Valérie ·
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    No cake, no bouquet/garter toss, no receiving line, no bridal party. I did not have something old, new, borrowed or blue; no corsage or boutonniere for the parents. Our venue didn't allow for clinking of glasses, so instead we had a putting mat and guests had to drain the putt to make us kiss. It was a lot of fun and kept guests busy while waiting for their food (buffet)!

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  • Nelly
    Devoted October 2021 Ontario
    Nelly ·
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    We aren’t having the garter or bouquet toss, the cake smash or the clinking of glasses.
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    Definitely not a fan of cake smashing, garter/bouquet toss either! I've made my peace with clinking actually, I know someone is going to do it regardless so I've just accepted it. I'm not the biggest fan of it but I'm just gonna let it slide if/when it happens.

    I think a "trend" or something that should become a trend that we are doing is taking 10-15 minutes after the ceremony ALONE (just the 2 of us) to take it all in and appreciate each other. The whole day we'll be surrounded by friends and family that it'll be nice to have a moment.

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  • July
    Frequent user July 2021 Ontario
    July ·
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    There a lot of traditional things we won’t be doing. I hate the clinking of glasses and we definitely won’t be doing a cake smashing. I don’t really see the point of that lol. I’m not sure if we will be doing a garter toss yet because some of our guests on my FH side are Muslim and I think that the entire process of him getting the garter off of me would be too intimate.
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  • Liga
    Devoted June 2021 Quebec
    Liga ·
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    I start to check other options..and maybe it would be good to replace throwing my bouquet, with pulling a ribbon with my bouquet.

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  • Liga
    Devoted June 2021 Quebec
    Liga ·
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    WOW...what is that ( lock-and-key style for the bouquet toss ).


    Could you explain?

    I will escape a lot of traditions. I will not have bridesmaids. I will arrive to wedding place with my future husband. We even will shop together wedding dress. We will not have couple dance, instead, we will have Brazilian dancers, who will open the dance floor. They will be all dressed like from Brazilian carnival. I want to do something with my wedding bouquet. Usually they are trowing it. I read, that it is good to stimulate people to participate, and then one who would catch bouquet would get gift card from store of 25$ example.

    Also, I dont think, that we will have any mini gifts for our guests. I dont see the point to give small staff, which is useless. I will have mini butaniers for each guest. We are paying our guest hotel rooms and transport from hotel till wedding place. Drinking from moment they get inside before ceremony, till the end of evening. So I think all that will make my guests super comfortable.

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  • R
    Frequent user November 2021 Ontario
    Racheal ·
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    So awkward and annoying IMO!

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  • R
    Frequent user November 2021 Ontario
    Racheal ·
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    I have a first look planned with my parents, but other than that, I just want to see my FH at the end of the aisle!

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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    I hate the clinking, bouquet and garter toss are all out the window. Also doing a first look. I'm sure I'm missing other somethings.
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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    We’re not doing the cake smashing nor are we doing the clinking of glasses or plates for the kids - I find the clinking annoying
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