Rekramer
Expert November 2018 Ontario

Wedding Shower Gifts

Rekramer, on 22/October/2018 at 15:59 Posted in Before the wedding

Hi All,

The FH's parents threw us a wedding shower yesterday and let us take home our (mostly) financial gifts. We opened all the cards and catalogued what the gifts were so we could do proper thank-yous, but I'm wondering how long we should wait before cashing the cheques we were given? It was suggested that donations would go towards a new BBQ but there's no way we would get a new BBQ at this time of year. I don't want to look greedy but I also know I prefer it when people cash the cheques I give them for the purposes of balancing my accounts.

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20 Comments

  • Peggy
    Super May 2019 Alberta
    Peggy ·
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    Etiquette says to always do a separate thank you card - even with the wedding being close to the shower. You should still send separate thank you's.

  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    I understand now why your not sending 2 cards instead of 1 and that makes sense. If i was to know that the wedding was following shortly, i wouldn't have mentioned the seperate cards to mail out.
  • Rekramer
    Expert November 2018 Ontario
    Rekramer ·
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    Yeah, that's my plan, they'll get a photo of us in front of our BBQ or in our kitchen (they were supposed to bring recipes to the shower)

  • K
    Expert June 2019 Ontario
    Kim ·
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    Ahhh yea I didn't realize your wedding was only a week after your shower. In that case i'd just do thank you cards after the wedding and put an extra note for those that attended the shower.
  • Jennifer
    Super July 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
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    It is close to the wedding to send out the cards. but you should send a separate card from the wedding thank you.

  • Rekramer
    Expert November 2018 Ontario
    Rekramer ·
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    It just seems really weird to me to send out a thank you card like, a week before our wedding for attending the shower.

  • Bianca
    Featured August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·

    I'd say cash the cheques ASAP and write thank you cards for your shower. Like others have said, your guests don't need to know that you're not purchasing your BBQ right away, just add in the details that their generous gift will go towards making some lovely summer meals.

  • Peggy
    Super May 2019 Alberta
    Peggy ·

    First thing to keep in mind: Checks stale date (can't be cashed) 6 months from the date written on them. So waiting until the spring/summer isn't really possible.

    You can always put the money in an account and save it for the spring. I would just write, in the thank you cards, "We're so excited to look for a new BBQ in the spring!" so they know your intention.

  • K
    Expert June 2019 Ontario
    Kim ·
    I would cash the cheques within a week or two.. I hate when a cheque I've written isn't cashed for a couple months - not because the money isn't there but bc I forget about it and then it's a surprise. Also I would definitely send out separate thank you cards for the shower and not wait til the wedding.
  • Rekramer
    Expert November 2018 Ontario
    Rekramer ·
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    I'm not really worried about insufficient funds with this crowd. I also wasn't planning on sending out separate thank you cards for the shower, just adding something a little extra for the people that did attend the shower.

  • Rekramer
    Expert November 2018 Ontario
    Rekramer ·
    View quoted message

    I was going to do the thank you cards for the wedding, and just include a picture of the BBQ we eventually get, or a BBQ meal that we make, with the thank you cards for the people that came to the wedding shower. Is that bad? Should I do specific shower thank you cards ASAP?

  • Rekramer
    Expert November 2018 Ontario
    Rekramer ·
    View quoted message

    Yeah, I made a note of everyone that contributed and I was going to send them a picture of a BBQed meal with their wedding thank-you card once our wedding thank-you cards were ready to go.

  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    Cash the cheques rather than waiting before it bounces for insufficient funds. Do the thank you cards too for everyone who came and gave something.
  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·

    You should cash the cheques sooner than later. Cheques expire after 6 months anyway, and most people expect the cash to come out based on the date they write on the check.


    People don't need to know you've purchased the BBQ right away - so don't worry. For our wedding, we got lots of money towards our honeymoon, which we didn't go on for two months. We cashed the cheques/money and then wrote thank you cards within a week to all our guests saying 'thank you for your generous gift, we are excited to put it to good use for our honeymoon'. Letting them know the intention for the gift usually makes people feel good.

  • Tori Doll
    Featured October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori Doll ·

    I would cash the cheques within the week. When I give a cheque I intend for the money to come out right away so as to let me know what my actual balance is. As for it going towards a BBQ - I really can't see people being so nosey as to ask about it. I mean, if they do; just tell them you're waiting for a sale as to get it for a good price?

  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
    I think it would be fair to finish and send the thank you cards and then cash the cheques? Unless you're hand delivering the cards then a week or 2 should be fine! I would go cash them the next day but after a week I think you're more than fine!

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