Janaya
Featured August 2019 Saskatchewan

Thank you cards

Janaya, on 20/June/2019 at 16:32 Posted in Plan a wedding

I have seen a couple different posts now about thank you card etiquette and my question is.. do I have to send thank you cards? I didn't mail hardly any of my invitations since I hand delivered almost all of them.. so I dont have anyone's address, and I plan to say a huge thank you to everyone after my shower, and at the wedding. I do not want to send thank you cards especially since we have mostly asked for gift cards or cash to furnish our home.

I know the older generation folk would appreciate the card but everyone else would probably just say oh cool and throw it in the trash. I personally have never cared to receive a thank you card, especially since I know the bride and groom are already busy and spending a lot of money.

idk just curious to hear everyone's thoughts

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17 Comments

  • Kaisha
    Super March 2019 Nova Scotia
    Kaisha ·

    We are and it really wasn't a question to us, about 90% of our guests had to travel to get to the wedding. So to us it was a minor detail to show we really appreciated it. I don't think you need to spend a lot on them though, you could hand deliver them and make them yourself or order them cheap on vista-print or something.

  • Christa
    Beginner September 2019 Ontario
    Christa ·
    Personally I think thank you cards are important. You don’t need to necessary spend a ton of money on them, it’s just the thought behind sending them. To be honest, I don’t remember any of the details about the thank you cards I did receive. But what I do remember is the weddings and showers we’ve attended where we weren’t sent one, just kind of leaves a bad taste of you know what I mean?
  • Erin
    Super May 2020 Ontario
    Erin ·

    I think you would be surprised that more people notice when they don't receive a thank you card no matter the age of the guest. As a guest you always want to know that person did in fact receive your gift. The thank card says thanks and acknowledges that a gift was received.

  • Tori Doll
    Featured October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori Doll ·

    I mean, as a guest I don't care unless I'm closely related to you or your bestie. In your case I would say that if most of your guests are computer friendly maybe you could make a post on FB thanking everybody and post pictures for them to see? They can take whatever picture you post and print it off themselves if they want it. The only reason I keep the thank you cards is so that I remember to say happy anniversary for their first (after that I throw them away). Maybe have some pictures on hand as well?

  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·

    We are for sure! Just waiting on our photographer as he's printing them for us! It's a nice gesture! Also a place to personally thank for any specific gifts or for those who had to do any traveling to really thank them for making it out!

    For me at the wedding... YOU ARE SOOOOOO BUSY! You likely wont have enough time to talk to everyone so it's a good chance to personally speak to each guest after and give your thanks for them being there!

  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·

    I personally love getting wedding thank you cards, especially when the couple uses a wedding photo in their card. Even just a thank you is enough since it shows the couple appreciated having all the guests there.

  • Janaya
    Featured August 2019 Saskatchewan
    Janaya ·

    Wow! such great input from everyone Smiley smile thank you all. I think my reason behind not wanting to send thank you cards is because I actually didn't know a lot of the people at my shower, since it was all my moms old church friends, so I feel a little uncomfortable writing a personal letter to someone I didn't know, & trying to mail them.

    however, I talked with my mom and she said if I write the cards she will deliver them for me so that's great Smiley smile I didn't realize how important it was so some people.

  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·

    I would personally send thank you cards, when you make that thank you speech some people may have left or missed it. I went to 4 weddings in one year and only received 1 thank you which I thought was rude. Specially since most I drove few hours up to five hours to go to, did a hotel room, gave them few hundred as a gift. It doesn't matter what gift they give there should be a thank you. It also doesn't matter how they get the thank you card as long as they get it. Cash or gift cards is still a present regardless as its a physical item and is helping you.

  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·

    Its generally sent out after the wedding based on the couple if the picture will be added later on when received and chosen to print.

    I too decided that the invitations for the most part to be hand delivered. The family in the states were the ones to have been mailed out.

    The way I created the option to save the postage as your saying is to have the favours and the Thank you card with it. Its their choice to take the cards at the end. I also put the names on them per household, couple or individual to know where they were seated. Here is the picture if chosen to do the same. Your favours can be edible as we gave a nice crystal votive holder in a nice box.

    Thank you cards 1



  • Valérie
    VIP September 2019 Quebec
    Valérie ·

    Thanking your guests at the event is one thing - it's in a group setting and a blanket statement. Sending individual cards with personalized messaging (and maybe a picture of the couple at the wedding) thanking them for their presence and the money/gift card/physical gift and that you plan on using it on 'xyz' just shows your guests that you took notice and you appreciate their thought/gift.

    Here's something I found on Pinterest years ago. Might help you write your thank you cards Smiley winking

    Thank you cards 2



  • Kathy
    Frequent user August 2019 Ontario
    Kathy ·
    When it comes to thank you cards, I believe it doesn’t take much to write a few words. Try not to do generic ones - say thank you for so and so. They will really appreciate it. I think it’s important.
  • DrB
    Frequent user August 2018 Ontario
    DrB ·
    Thank you cards are one of those things that will leave an impression either way. For example, I had a few family members get married and not send out thank you cards and it is still a snarky topic of discussion behind their backs years down the road. Alternatively, I had people call me and thank me for sending out cards. Honestly, I am of the opinion that you can never be too grateful for people spending their time and money on you and it really isn’t that much work or expense.
  • Casey
    Featured October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
    I think it is just nice to send a thank you card. It’s personal to each woman who attends your shower, instead of a general thank you to everyone.
    You could ask everyone at the shower to give you their address so you have it to send out the thank you!
  • Amelia
    Featured September 2020 Ontario
    Amelia ·

    My family raised us on thank you cards - my gramma would get cheesed if we didn't send one to her after birthdays and stuff lol. So I'd expect one, particularly since wedding gifts are generally fairly substantial.

  • Kelsie
    Featured July 2020 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
    I’m a firm believer in thank you cards.

    People are taking the time to attend the event and in most instances, give a gift. I would definitely recommend sending thank you cards.
  • K
    Expert September 2018 British Columbia
    Kim ·

    Sorry, but I think if someone spends money on you, they deserve a formal thank you card, in addition to thanking the crowd in general at the events. If the gift is cash or a gift card you can write that you will be putting it to good use towards furnishing your home (or whatever you plan on doing with it).

    Yes, they will probably read the card and end up throwing it out, but at least they'll know you're grateful and appreciate them enough to thank them properly.

    Maybe I'm just old-fashioned being in my mid-forties.... are people doing away with thank you cards these days?

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