Joey
WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland

Stag and Doe - yes or no??

Joey, on December 3, 2019 at 14:53 Posted in Before the wedding

Will you have a stag and doe, or are you skipping this particular pre-wedding party? Are they popular in your area?

If you're having one, what kinds of activities do you have planned?

Stag and Doe - yes or no?? 1

Photo by The Love Of Art & Design in Caledon

Want to learn more about stag & doe parties? Read more in How to Plan a Stag and Doe (or Jack and Jill) Party




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27 Comments

  • Brett
    Frequent user July 2020 Saskatchewan
    Brett ·
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    My fiancé will likely have one as he was a large group of close friends, I actually don’t even want to know what they will do as I’m sure i won’t like it. I am probably just going to have a movie and dinner date with my bestie as I don’t have many close girlfriends and my other bridesmaid lives 8hrs away.
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  • Ashley
    Super August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Were not doing this but this sounds fun!! i think lots of drinking games or money games would help you guys raise some $$

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  • Melissa
    Frequent user October 2020 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    View quoted message

    I love this! My FH has been curling since he was 8 and we joined a social league this year together. I am definitely sharing this idea with him!

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  • Emily
    Beginner September 2020 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    We are doing a bonspiel (curling). We booked the venue and it was inexpensive and charging each person/team to play as well as offering a couple of prizes. It has not been a ton of work and it is something we would have organized regardless!


    We won't make as much as a traditional stag and doe but are just looking to cover/subsidize some of our alcohol costs.


    Smiley smile

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  • Chere-Lee
    Frequent user October 2020 Ontario
    Chere-Lee ·
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    Back to the Awesome 80's Stag & DoeStag and Doe - yes or no?? 2

    We are having one - May 2, 2020!! It is a very popular thing in Hamilton, Ontario. Our wedding is on the smaller side (to keep costs down) so the Stag and Doe is mainly to get everyone out to have a good time. Affordable drinks, win some great prizes and ours is 80's themed so it should be a blast! I joke that it will be more fun than the wedding. We will have reasonable ticket prices $10 which covers a ticket into the door prize draw ($400 + worth of alcohol) and guests do not need to be in attendance to win the door prize and the ticket also covers food. My FH works at one of the most popular restaurants in Hamilton and we will have some food from his restaurant as well. We will have a few games (i.e. tooney toss - with a large bottle of alcohol and a Michael Kors purse, find the bride and groom - people pay for a playing card and win a prize if they buy the card with one of our pictures on it, cash prize for the best dressed 80's style). We will have a 50/50 draw - no give backs (most people feel obligated to donate their winning 50/50 back to the bride and groom but we would rather they keep their winnings). We will have a fantastic door prize and lots of themed baskets to buy tickets for and win (retro gaming basket, family board game basket, date night out basket, Starbucks baskets (my Uncle is a manager at Starbucks), etc.). We have a live DJ - who is a friend of mine who has offered to DJ for free. We have a makeshift photo-booth with 80's themed props.

    Being that ours is about 5 months away, we have everything in full swing and are VERY excited for it!

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  • Vanessa
    Beginner December 2020 Ontario
    Vanessa ·
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    We won’t be having one. They are Quite popular in our area as our town is a little bit smaller so people just like to come out and drink and try to win a prize.
    Every wedding I’ve been in (8 to date) has had a stag and doe and almost every single couple told me that they wish they didn’t do it. Mainly because it’s a ton of work, the commitment is huge and you really have no idea how many people are going to show up.
    However, they are a good time and it gives you a chance To invite people to celebrate that may not be invited to that actual wedding. If you do choose to have one, good luck and I hope it turns out well!

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  • Kadi
    Beginner August 2021 Alberta
    Kadi ·
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    My friends just had one. They called it a jack and Jill. They had a 50/50 draw, a door prize. They also had a few decks of cards laid out where some had prizes written on them and youd buy as many as you wanted with a chance to win something. The coolest thing they had was two jars. One with her name and one with his. The jar with the most money in to at the end of the night got cake thrown in there face by the other one lol. One of the best oarties I have ever been to. Also had jello shots for sale Smiley smile
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  • Chantal
    Newbie January 2021 Ontario
    Chantal ·
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    I didn't want the headache of planning a second party to raise money for my wedding so instead I held a raffle. I had three really big prizes and got my wedding party and family to sell tickets for me. We filmed ourselves drawing the winners and contacted them afterwards. I ended up making nearly $2,000 after paying off the cost of the prizes.

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  • Allison
    Curious October 2020 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    Will definitely not be having one. I know lots of people who have them and love them, but asking people to donate prizes or spend a night dishing out money for my wedding is just not something I'm into. No thank you!

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  • Shannon
    Devoted September 2020 Quebec
    Shannon ·
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    It's common where we live in Quebec. I can't wait to plan ours. So far we will have a door prize to entice ppl to buy the tickets even if they don't come they have a chance to win something. Maybe 3 for 5$. Really cheap. This way people don't mind giving away a few dollars and those dollars add up.
    Also thinking of 50/50, who doesn't want to win some cash.
    I plan on having ours in the summer so I can have it outside. Lawn games and bomb fire with some eats.
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    In Thunder Bay (where we live), we call them shags and they have less of the games/activities - like stag and does in Southern Ontario. Any of the shags I've been to have 50/50 draws, raffle prizes, drink tickets but it's pretty much it.

    Also, I find stag and does have more of a restrictive guest list whereas anyone goes to shags in Thunder Bay, even if you don't even know the couple/wedding party

    We didn't have a shag/stag and doe. Our wedding party and parents are all scattered so it wouldn't work to get everyone together to pull it off.

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  • Tori Doll
    Featured October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori Doll ·
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    View quoted message

    LOL YES!

    I read your comment and was like, Idk if it's a right of passage - but then it was followed by "every couple must suffer" and YUP! That's exactly what it is.

    Like, I love going to them because it's way better than going to a club or something and the drinks are cheap (usually) and prizes are always a great incentive - but putting one together is THE WORST! Way more difficult than planning the wedding itself.. but it does have the reward of making quite a lot of money if you do it right/ have lots of friends and family!

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  • Joey
    WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland
    Joey ·
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    "Stag and Doe" can be a confusing name, because in some places in the word bach parties are called stag parties (bachelor parties) and hen nights (bachelorettes)!

    My DH and I had separate bach parties too; even though my party was co-ed having separate parties let us do the different kinds of activities we liked best. We didn't have a wedding social/stag & doe before our wedding, they were not common in the area where we were living.


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  • Joey
    WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland
    Joey ·
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    I love hearing about where these socials are popular and where they aren't common, it varies so much

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  • Geneviève
    Expert September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
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    We’re not having one. Ours is too small for it to be feasible, and I’d feel like inviting people to the stag and doe and not the wedding would be unkosher, just for my feelings.
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  • Meaghan
    Expert September 2019 Ontario
    Meaghan ·
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    View quoted message
    They aren't like bachelor/bachelorette parties. They are essentially fundraisers. The guests pay for tickets and then are expected to participate in games/raffles which cost money. All the collected money then goes to the couple.
    I don't think you're missing anything.
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