Rude to not invite kids or certain parts of the family?

A lot of people do adults only and thats fine however dont start picking and choosing certain kids to invite. i had a friend do this and she had only certain peoples kids come and on her wedding day people were pissed and went up to the bride and groom to yell at them. dont invite anyone youre not close with. if you dont talk to them dont invite them. just cuz some people have a title of aunt uncle or cousin does not give them an automatic invite

Hey girl!

I know the feeling 100%. All I can say is that if you do not feel comfortable having them at your wedding than do not invite them.

Why do they want to come if you barely saw them? So they can criticize behind your back? No thank you!!

My FH and I are having 60 people at our wedding. NONE OF THEM are blood family on my side because I am not close with them at all. I have childhood friends I am not inviting because I have not seen them in person for over 5 years, yet they follow me on instagram and ask me "how's the wedding?" expecting an invite.

My rule of thumb is, if I have not seen the person in the last year because I did not want to, then they are not invited.

People take it personally not being invited to events, and they should because there is a reason you do not want them there in the first place.

I could keep going, but in short I would not invite them. Blood does not make you "family". Relationships, friendships, shared moments is what makes you family.

xxx

I'm sorry about the silent treatment, and I'm sure he is just saying not to invite your grandparents right now because if he is anything like me - it's an all or nothing! And I usually say things I don't mean when I don't get my way

At the same time no matter what if you don't invite his siblings I can see why he is hurt. Those are his siblings man, if my Sister wasn't invited to something it autimatically makes me not want to go or be happy about what the event is. So even though you aren't close to them and don't care for them - it's not the same to him.

In the end he should be on your side because you are his daughter, but it doesn't make the hurt go away.

As for the parents not helping pay for the wedding - normally that is fine because it's not their wedding. But if they are THAT adamant about your Dad's side being invited then they should be at least offering to pitch in. (I could see this happening after they have some time to cool off, I wouldn't offer it right away if I was them either because from their POV it sounds like "I like all of Mom's side and my FH's family but yours sucks and the only way they can come is if you foot the bill!")

Hang in there, I'm sure something can be done to resolve the tension!

As much as I want to be one of the others that say "It's your wedding and you should do what makes you happy" - I can't help but see it from your Dad's side. To me, family is family. To keep our numbers lower we didn't invited anybody under 18 but with that being said - to invite one half of the family and not the other half would be for sure the straw that broke the camels back. In that, I mean that if you don't invite at least your grandparents and aunts/uncles then that would really be hurting that relationship and you may not be able to get that back. Not to say that you have a good one or one that you care about - but it's just... idk.. I would find a way to invite them.

IMO - For sure would make it an 18+ wedding (or 19+ depending on the legal drinking age for Ontario), but would try and make it work to invite your Dad's side.

The best thing about a wedding, is its your day, and you and your fiance make the final choices.

We didn't invite children to our wedding. The only ones that were there, were our nieces and nephews (10 total) and this was only because our niece and nephew were in the wedding party, and we could not exclude the rest of them. This caused some drama in the beginning, all the way up to a couple days before the wedding lol, but in the end it was our choice, and if people didn't like it and didn't want to come to our wedding, not my problem.

As for the issue on your dads side of the family, I would express to him exactly what you wrote here. let him know how you felt going to those events, and how you felt during your childhood. Stick to your decisions!

Ah the silent treatment. That'll last a little longer but they can't avoid you forever. It's a crappy feeling but it will blow over soon, especially when they clue in that it isn't financially feasible for you. I dealt with that a bit, and occasionally my mother quips about my father's sister being invited but not her brothers (her sister is though) but I shut her down when it happens. Sometimes it feels like you have to retrain your parents on manners when it comes to these things!

It's your day, it's your money, so you call the shots. I had a similar situation with only having 30 guests and not inviting extended family (which also meant kids). My parents naturally had a lot to say on the subject, but I was firm, and just because money and strings is a big issue in my family, I didn't give them the option to financially compensate.

As for your judgy relatives, I'd reiterate your sentiments to your dad and be firm about it. He'll be peeved for a bit but he will come around eventually.