I have a few different friends' groups, but it seems that if the bride wants a specific bridesmaid dress, she pays for it, and if she picked just the colour, the bridesmaids paid for it. As I wanted all the women to match, I paid for their dresses. My bridesmaid told me I needed to have a professional hair and make up people available for the women, so they can choose to have their beauty done professionally, which I then organized and put down deposits. My groomswoman then told me that if I hire the beauty people, I have to pay for them. So now I've paid for their dresses, shoes, hair and make up (on top of the bridesmaid proposal gift, and thank you gift they will receive the day of the wedding). I have also made a nail appointment, and told the women (including the moms) that they are more than welcome to join me, but they are paying for themselves. My groomswoman also found out she was pregnant after I bought all the dresses, so then I had to buy another dress for her (it was too late to return the first dress, and the second dress was at twice the cost, as I got the dresses on a Black Friday Sale).
For the rehearsal, it's the bridal party and parents. We have extended the dinner invite to spouses and siblings (my sister is my MOH, so my family will be at these events, and thought it would be nice to also have FH's family there). I was thinking of going dutch for this dinner (there are 25 people), but my Future Father In Law told my FH months ago (when I wasn't there) that he would pay for the dinner. Last night, my FFIL told me that 'now' that I've added more people, he doesn't think it's fair that he's paying for the dinner. I reminded him I haven't changed the number, and it's always been 25 people. He no longer wants to pay (I think his wife has control of his wallet), but we weren't expecting this cost.
My question is, can I ask for the women to pay for their beauty (hair, make up), AND everyone to pay for themselves for dinner? I don't want to come across as rude, but we also don't have a limited amount of funds either. I was only clear on me paying for the dresses and shoes, but I haven't really mentioned the cost about the other items (I avoid confrontations as much as possible). I'm not sure how to approach this now, especially as it has gone on for so long.