Not your mother's wedding!

Wedding #1 she was so drunk she had to be held up by the bridal party. wedding #2 she eloped on a mountain. wedding #3 was as bare minimum as possible,no dancing,no sit down dinner,just a ceremony and pictures (which i took). i think wedding 3 is the closest to mine. ceremony (done by the same lady which she stole from me lol),no dancing,no booze,and a build your own taco bar. my FH has autism so we needed to make sure there was something he would eat and he wouldnt be overstimulated with all the loud music. He is very shy so he wouldnt dance infront of people. We are doing cupcakes instead of a wedding cake as thats what he perfers. I honestly dont care too much. The ceremony is for me and the reception is for him.

One thing I've noticed that is similar is sleeves! Mom was married in 1983 in a long sleeve dress and now the trend is back!


A big difference is the layout of the event. Mom is expecting father daughter dance and garter tosses that I don't think we're going to have.

My (soon to be) Mother in Law is more the one I disagree with and she hates the idea of a First Look moment before the wedding 🙊🙈 also the whole parents having guests at the wedding. I know it's very traditional but my parents said it was my wedding and my fiance and I could invite who we want so we have our guest list numbers open to whoever where my future Mother In Law does not see it that way

My parents wanted things more traditional while we really wanted to just have a wedding that was authentic to us. It took many conversations before my mother was on board with the fact that we were not having a receiving line.

My parents seem to have this conception that events held for an |ndian wedding for gay couples can't be done because of the bride not present in it. I had read generations changing have taken the same events to be part of their wedding and the actual ceremony.

My brother had the same idea as my parents and prevented me from taking on them without asking my reasoning behind it.

My mom has been very supportive and liked everything so far. It's pretty much everyone else who seems to have an opinion.

My FMIL did not like when we told her we were not doing a cake but cupcakes instead. But my fiance was really great and stepped in and said while we appreciated her opinion we still were doing what we wanted since it our wedding.

My sister (who is one of my MOH's) was not happy when we told her we were cutting speeches as we didn't want them.

And my step dad was not happy when we said we were doing a first look.

I think but FH and I have been pretty good at being respectful but firm that it is our wedding and we are paying for it so we will do things our way

I’ve been lucky that my mom is pretty on par with all our choices, except for cost. She loves our venue, but I think she’d hit the roof if she knew what it costs. I ducked for cover when I told her the price of our cake.

The biggest divide in opinions has been with my MIL over my decision to ask for charity donations over having a registry for my shower. She’s tried a number of times to get me to make a registry because that’s tradition even though we have the worlds tiniest apartment and have everything we need.

I would say the biggest differences I've noticed so far is that my mom really wants me to wear a veil and I don't want one. I want colours on the bottom of my dress (a nice ombre) and she thinks it should just be white. She wanted the decorations to be very floral and I said no flowers haha

I've been lucky so far in that my mom has just been 100% supportive of what I want. Her wedding ended up not being what she wanted at all, so she is not imposing that on me. FH and I are also paying every cent of it ourselves.

However a couple of traditional things we are changing that has gotten some responses, and required some extra explaining or justifying (le sigh) are a First Look & ditching the cake! Our venue did not give us much of a choice with the First Look situation, but its totally fine with us, and neither FH or I really like cake.

I ALSO think that the idea of weddings having been a big old family reunion has altered, and that is causing a bit of friction. By not inviting our 2nd cousins twice removed and their best friends, and our parents neighbors etc, I know some people feel disgruntled. However, we were set on our venue and it limits the wedding to 110 people so immediate family and friends it is.

I think many of the traditions are changing.

We are not getting married in a church. So for the older Italian generation that are used to a long church ceremony, then they get to go home, get changed and show up to the reception in a different outfit! FH's Nanna is changing between our 5pm ceremony and 7pm dinner, most likely in the bathroom because this is what she is used to.

Same with the "first look". We are doing one due to our ceremony time, but many people look at me like I have 7 heads when I say we are doing a first look and not waiting until we walk down the isle

The problem with my mom is, she doesn't understand it's OUR money. Like, she is contributing to some things, but she doesn't understand we're the ones at the end of the day that are paying for everything (while trying to buy a home!).

For example - I didn't want wedding favours and her response was well, if my friends are coming they expect wedding favours. Meanwhile, wanting me to spend $10 per wine stopper!!! CRAZY!

It's the most frustrating thing for me about the whole process.

White isn't the only option for wedding dresses! My mom wore white but I'm going for an ivory dress. My mom was hesitant on it, mostly because she was told that white is for your first wedding, and ivory/any other colour could be worn if you were getting remarried (insert eye roll).

Not my wedding, but my bridesmaid had a really casual wedding in her DH's parents' backyard. My parents were irked that they weren't having it in a "traditional" venue like my FH and I are (hotel banquet room).

The wording and formality!

For the most part we are keeping traditions of walking down the aisle with parents, garter toss, bouquet toss, etc.

But the wording on the invitation and how to RSVP was weird to them. Not too weird though - I'm 22 and they are 49 & 53 so they aren't exactly old... Just a little different from when they got married 31 years ago!