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Meghan
Devoted April 2019 Ontario

Not Inviting Work People and Feeling Gulilty

Meghan, on March 26, 2019 at 16:20 Posted in WeddingWire 0 13

This is more just a vent I suppose...to try to get rid of this feeling of (un-justified?) guilt haha

The RSVPs are due back to us by this Monday...I didn't end up inviting anyone from my work (FH invited a few people from his)

I have been at my job for 7 years now, and I am feeling kind of bad that I didn't invite my bosses and a couple of other people...at the same time though back when we were figuring out the guest list we had already hit the top amount of guests we wanted. Also, though my direct boss is generally lovely there was some issues about 4 years ago (it is a family run company...I am not part of the family though) where they all basically ganged up on me, accused me of things that were not true and were completely made up by them (but instead of coming to me straight away to seek the truth or my side of things, they didn't confront me about it until 8 months later...they basically sat on it, stewing and making their assumptions...the whole thing was completely unprofessional...the way they handled it and such) I was so hurt by all of this, I thought they held me in a much higher regard then that. It took me about a year to get over it and even now I am still a little hurt but I don't think of it often anymore.

ANYWAYS so yes, I feel bad for not inviting any of them...I worry I hurt their feelings (despite everything). I definitely didn't want them to feel hurt by it, my direct boss especially- but it is FAR too late to invite them now...they know invites have been sent out and that my wedding is in a month. I feel like I should have just invited them...it would have added 8 more guests. I am trying to tell myself that I don't HAVE to invite them, so I shouldn't feel bad about it...but its not working because I still do and I worry they are wondering why they didn't get an invite.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Bianca, on April 1, 2019 at 22:40
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    Seriously don't feel bad at all for not inviting them. I'm a firm believer that you should only invite those who will enhance your day and who you truly want there. I'm only inviting one person from my workplace* since I just can't invite everyone and I'm not really friends with most of them outside of work. Stick to your gut and don't worry about feeling guilty. In 20 years you won't even remember not inviting them.

    * I've worked at the same place for 6.5 years

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  • Meghan
    Devoted April 2019 Ontario
    Meghan ·
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    Oh that's so awkward that they were talking about going before you had even sent out the invites! AH and only two have responded?! I would be so frustrated...that is so not cool. I've never understood why people don't respond in a timely manner (except for the odd person who legitimately needs to figure out if they can make the travel plans/get time off work)

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  • Stephanie
    Beginner May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    Girl - it’s YOUR wedding. You can do as you pleaseSmiley winking. I invited my coworkers -(ALL 7 of them - as they kept asking if they were being invited and some were talking about going .. even though I hadn’t even made the decision to invite them or not at that point?! Lol!) so I decided to just invite them all - no drama, no favourite selection, everyone invited. Now there’s less than ONE WEEK til RSVP deadline ... and only TWO have even responded or even ACKNOWLEDGED the invite. #NotWorthIt
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  • Meghan
    Devoted April 2019 Ontario
    Meghan ·
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    Thanks girls!

    I have decided not to invite them...we have never hung out outside of work, and I wouldn't miss them if they weren't there. I think they understand...I have mentioned a few times that we are trying to keep it small (though FH has a large family haha)

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  • Janaya
    Expert August 2019 Saskatchewan
    Janaya ·
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    If they aren't there on the big day will you miss seeing them? if not, you don't need to feel bad about it

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  • Gabrielle
    Frequent user May 2019 Ontario
    Gabrielle ·
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    I started a job less than a year ago and felt weird inviting colleagues for the whole event. Instead, i opted to only invite them for the party portion after dinner. So they got custom invites saying to show up at 8.
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  • Candace
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Candace ·
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    I didn't invite most of my work friends to the wedding and they all understood. Especially since you had a rough patch with them they should all be understanding. I wouldn't feel guilty about it, you chose friends and family to fill those guest spaces which will all be people that you want to have at your wedding because you are close with them not because you feel obligated.

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    Honestly, work friends should understand because they know family should come first. I am only inviting work people to reception only. This way if they want to pop by they can. At my last job, one of the girls getting married was unsure about rsvps so she didn't want to invite until got them all back as we weren't priority which get. She invited us about a month or less to her reception only.

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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    I don’t think you should feel bad because they’ve treated you poorly.

    I work in a team of 4, so we are a close knit group. Everyone is getting an invite. I’m also inviting some people on our office floor as well that I’m close with. I spend so much time with these people so it would be weird for me if they weren’t there. I probably see them more than my FH 😂
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    Definitely don't feel guilty, especially if you don't hang out with them outside of work!

    I'm inviting my 2 coworkers and my old boss (with plus 1s that's 6 people). We all get along great and have hung out outside of the office. They also are in Thunder Bay and our Wedding is in London, so I understand if they don't come but I didn't feel obligated to invite them in the first place.

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  • Meghan
    Devoted April 2019 Ontario
    Meghan ·
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    Ah thank you girls! You are right...If I don't hang out with them outside of work I shouldn't feel like I have to invite them. My FH does hang out with the work people he invited, so that makes sense. I have literally never hung out with any of my work people outside of work. I just hope they weren't expecting an invite...

    I don't think I will invite them even though there is room now for those reasons.

    Honestly thank you girls! I have been feeling guilty over this for a few days now, so this really helped Smiley smile

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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    Do not feel like you have to at all!
    Unless you are friends with them outside of work, I don’t think it’s necessary.

    My coworkers joked about being invited because I had my save the dates delivered to the office so they didn’t sit out in the snow. And I basically just said “ family only” and left it at that. Yes you see them everyday, but unless they are good friends, don’t worry about it!
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I mean, the way I look at it is - if you don't hang out with those work people at lunch or outside of work, then you don't have to and shouldn't feel guilty about not inviting them.

    I haven't sent out the invitations yet but I will be inviting a coworker who's Mom is my boss... I'm not inviting my boss! I have had game nights with some co-workers but not my boss therefore my boss isn't invited. Personal life - personal and social life - social. No need to feel guilty.

    If you end up with room after all the RSVP's are in, I don't see anything wrong with approaching them and explaining that you weren't able to invite them but they were first on your list to ask as soon as you knew you could find room?

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