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Lisa
Newbie June 2019 British Columbia

Is it normal for the couple to fight over money before the wedding ceremony

Lisa, on May 10, 2019 at 14:10 Posted in Wedding Tests 0 19

Is it normal for the couple to fight over money before the wedding ceremony

19 Comments

Latest activity by Liga, on September 19, 2019 at 00:11
  • Liga
    Devoted June 2021 Quebec
    Liga ·
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    If you are both paying I guess of course! But if your future husband is paying it all, I would not fightSmiley laugh

    I dont fight, I just consult with my darling! Smiley love

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  • S
    Expert September 2020 Quebec
    Shannon ·
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    Hello Melissa,
    I enjoyed to hear say, Trying to pay off before the due date.
    This is exactly my view. I feel confident, with the vendors we are choosing. Therefore I'm trying to pay as much as possible before our wedding next year.
    I'm proud to say so for so good.
    Most ppl are concerned with paying before and things go wrong. My take is hire well know vendors. Plenty of reviews, how many years in service ect......
    Another plus was starting early planning 18 months.
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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    Money I believe is the number one thing most couples will fight about. Not just now but your entire marriage. Hopefully you find a way to work together for your common financial future. It's actually a really good relationship building block if you figure out what works for you both.
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  • Taylor
    Devoted October 2021 Alberta
    Taylor ·
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    100% normal. Just remember not to go to bed angry. Nothing is worth the stress. Communication is key to keeping everything running smoothly

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  • Amanda
    Super June 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    Money is definitely a very stressful part of planning a wedding, try not to get too overwhelmed and remember what's important.
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  • Lisa
    Newbie June 2019 British Columbia
    Lisa ·
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    Thanks Melissa,


    Once I showed him ALL of the little things the Bride is responsible for paying for, ie: Bridal favors, the invitations, gifts for the Bridal party, the Flower gilr/ring bearer pillow and basket, my gown, shows, hair, accessories........he was much more appreciative of my expenses! lol

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  • Melissa
    Devoted May 2019 Alberta
    Melissa ·
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    I think it's normal for sure. There's a lot of little costs that can be forgotten when creating the budget, things go wrong etc.

    We had some arguments, but ended up being UNDER budget when it was all said and done.

    One thing I would suggest is trying to pay things off as soon as possible and not waiting until they day they are due. It was a huge weight lifted off of our shoulders every time we made a payment.

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  • Lisa
    Newbie June 2019 British Columbia
    Lisa ·
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    So true! Thanks Bianca. We seem to be agreeing more as he has come to see just how the little things add up as well as the big ticket items.

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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    Sometimes. I think a wedding is the first big expense in a couples life together and it can become uncomfortable spending so much on one day. You both need to be on the same page regarding how much money you're comfortable spending and stick to it. Otherwise disagreements and resentment could easily happen.

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  • Lisa
    Newbie June 2019 British Columbia
    Lisa ·
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    Thanks Alison,


    I agree and although I like to think the same way, I am also somewhat conservative but my fiance is over the top tight with the cash. He had no idea going what is involved with even our small wedding ie: guests party favors, gifts for our flower girl/ring bearer, boquet, music.....

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    It's amazing how much money adds up for a wedding, especially all the little things that add up (rings, officiant, accessories, decor, etc.)

    I find I didn't know how much a wedding on average costs until I started researching different vendors and getting quotes. It seems like a lot of money for one day, but I'm also only doing this one time!

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  • Lisa
    Newbie June 2019 British Columbia
    Lisa ·
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    Thanks Casey, thanks all of you! I am starting to feel less alone.

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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    Money is unfortunately a big factor in planning a wedding. It is very stressful as it is a lot of money and honestly some of the guys do not understand all the costs that are needed.
    We just got our wedding rings and my FH said that he didn’t think a wedding would cost this much. But it all adds up.
    I keep telling my FH that this is the only time I plan on getting married!
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  • Lisa
    Newbie June 2019 British Columbia
    Lisa ·
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    Thanks Tori,

    I left the list from Weddingwire on our coffee table of things still to do, and leave it up to him. Treading softly...lol


    Lisa

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Ughhh, men Smiley tongue

    I know that my FH didn't want any part in the picking part for photographer but wanted a good price so what I did was contact a bunch of them looking for quotes and then made him a list of cheapest to most expensive and he had to pick from there. (In the end we went with a friend of mine but still... I made a list)

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  • Lisa
    Newbie June 2019 British Columbia
    Lisa ·
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    Thanks Tori,

    I did try to have him research but apparently, now that time is so close, he gets angry when I say we really have to make a choice as everyone is getting booked up...wedding is June22nd. I have gone cheap on my dress and other items but it is both our first wedding. He is extremely concious of money....he does have the savings to cover a $5000 based on his finances and income vs mine. He just seems angry when we talk about anything.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Like Becky said, this is completely normal to have differences of opinion.

    When it comes to your wedding and what you've spent vs. what he wanted to spend in total - that's where it gets tricky. A wedding can totally cost $3,000 all in for 16 people BUT that would be cutting costs on just about everything including the wedding dress, photographer, and all those big ticket items. It can be done, but I would make sure he is aware of the realities of how much wedding things cost and what the two of you would like to save money on.

    For example - most photographers start at $1,500 or more (mostly around $3,000) but if you are trying to save money you could either see if either of you have friends or family who do photography or see about getting a couple students to do it to up their portfolios (and of course pay them a little).

    Lots can make that budget work, but you may not want to cut costs in some areas.

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  • Lisa
    Newbie June 2019 British Columbia
    Lisa ·
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    Money over the Wedding. We live in Vancouver and he started out thinking the entire catered, open bar, with a beach venue for 16 people could be done with $3000.00. Until I reminded him, the ring, the officiant, the little extras add up. He could not believe I had already spend $2850.00. I explained, The Bride has her dress, shoes, our ring bearer and flower girl pillow/basket (their gifts of thanks) the small guest book. We still haven't got a photographer...oh and music.

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    HI Lisa!

    Money is a huge factor in a wedding- everyone makes a budget but do we all stick to it and so forth is different. I know my FH and I have argued over money as our jobs of changed and at times I get very frustrated on how much I am contributing compared to him. Everyone I am sure at some point has argued over money before the wedding as its a chunk to have a wedding. Are you meaning money about the wedding or money in general?

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