Kelly
Expert September 2019 Manitoba

Inviting people past RSVP deadline?

Kelly, on 12/August/2019 at 11:26 Posted in Wedding reception

We're in a position where our RSVP deadline is tomorrow, and we're thinking of extending invitations to a few more people that we weren't able to invite initially. We have an ENTIRE EMPTY TABLE! We can invite a whopping 8 extra guests.

The wedding is September 13th....is it rude to invite people with only a month's notice? What is a good way to go about this without coming off like "you're on the b list and we're able to invite you because others said no"?

I was just going to email them invitations via paperless post so it gets to them right away.

Also...with only a month to the wedding....what should their RSVP deadline be? Trying to navigate this gracefully lol.

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11 Comments

  • Ashley
    Devoted August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·

    I love weddings i would totally go last minute as long as i dont have plans. but my friends wouldnt do that because they dont like being invited as "b list people" i literally just had this discussion in my group of friends and they all said they wouldnt go i was the only one who said i would!

  • Rayanne
    Featured February 2021 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
    I love weddings. I'd totally go as a b-lister if I could (had the time off). Depends on the person I guess.
  • Madisyn
    Devoted April 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
    I was invited as a b-lister to a wedding last month and I didn't mind! After having gone through guest list woes myself, I completely understand how difficult it can be. I was just happy to be there for the day!
  • Julia
    Beginner July 2020 Ontario
    Julia ·
    I personally was a b-list invite a month before an out of town wedding. I was pretty insulted since it was family. Maybe if they aren’t family they’ll be ok with it?
  • Petra
    Frequent user June 2020 Ontario
    Petra ·
    I find these can be a little awkward but to make it more personal I would bring it in person and just be honest because they’ll know. I’ve never been invited like this but I know people who have and appreciated the honesty
  • L
    Curious August 2020 Alberta
    L.a. ·
    I was a guest that was b listed, we received an invite via texted photo of the invitation, about a month before the wedding. We didn’t go, but felt a little insulted that they played it like they forgot to invite us. If you choose to invite people, be honest and let them know that you have more space than you anticipated so you can invite people that you weren’t able to include in your initial count. And please hand deliver!
  • Becky
    Featured September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·

    I had this happened and was able to do so! People didn't care and were happy they were invited to come to the full day

  • Tori
    Featured October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori Online ·

    Like the others said - in person is always best this close to the wedding. If they live out of province then I would give them a phone call to let them know that you are sending them an email as you speak

  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·

    I've been a b-list guest before lol! I personally don't mind it but I think if you can deliver the invitation in person, it's better! People will realize they were a b-list since they are getting an invite for a wedding happening in a month. Hopefully the people you have in mind know they aren't as close to you but happy that you considered them for last-minute invitations.

    As for RSVPs, you want to give them some time (i.e. request time off work, travel plans, if necessary) but you also need to provide final numbers at some point. I'd give it 2 weeks (i.e. August 31st/September 1st) so they have some time, but you also need numbers/names for seating!

    One time my FH got a last minute plus one (we hadn't been dating long at that point) so he brought me (it said FH guest on the seating chart since it was a last addition but I didn't care lol).

  • Casey
    Featured October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
    I agree with Kelsie if the person is close to you, then hand deliver it to them to make it more personal. They are going to know they are B list, but you making that connection softens it a little bit.
    We have people who my in-laws “forgot” to add to the list and our RSVP date is in 2 weeks and I really don’t want to add them this late. (They aren’t really close family)
    I would give them until the end of the month, that gives them enough time to see if they can make it and then gives you time to do all the last minute seating stuff and numbers for your venue
  • Kelsie
    Featured July 2020 Ontario
    Kelsie Online ·
    This actually happened to me as a guest.

    I was invited less than a month before the wedding by text message. I mean, people are going to realize they are a B list guest. I still attended the wedding but didn’t stay long.

    I’m not sure if there’s a way to do it without it coming off as it does.

    If these are people who are close to you, are you able to bring an invite in person? I think I would’ve appreciated that more than the electronic communication I got.

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