This guest list is causing me so much stress lol.
So my fiance and I's original vision for our wedding was very small, like 40-50 people surrounded by our closest friends and family. However, we quickly came to realize basically that wasn't an option due to the size of his family - he has over 20 aunts and uncles and over 30 cousins and under the "you invite one you invite all of them" etiquette rule we couldn't leave any of them out. So our final guest list ended up being around 90 with over 50 from his family alone and I ended up having to cut a lot of my friends I would have loved to invite but couldn't for lack of space. We did decide that no kids would be invited except would be my niece who is also the flower girl, the ring bearer (the son of very close friends of ours) and my fiance's goddaughter and made it clear on our website that children weren't invited.
Well, after the invitations went out we started getting all this pressure to invite even MORE of his family. One my fiance caved in and agreed to was his uncle (who has recently passed away)'s widower's son from her first marriage, which I agreed to since he was very close his stepdad who recently passed away and it seemed like the nice thing to do. Then over Thanksgiving late at night after a lot of drinks my fiance's cousin who have a 10 year old daughter asked if they could bring her because they don't have anywhere she can stay in their hometown if they have to travel for the wedding and in his inebriated state at 3 in the morning my fiance agreed. I said okay fine, it's just one more kid we can make room for her.
Well now, his OTHER cousin who we only invited him and his wife has RSVPed for him, his wife and their daughter and already bought the plane tickets. They do have family in their hometown but apparently the mom doesn't trust anyone to watch her kid but her. We technically have room for them (our venue has a max of 94 and we will have we estimated to be about 10 declines) but then I worry if we cave and agree they can bring their daughter, then all his other cousins who have kids are going to want to bring their kids or are going to be pissed that their kids weren't invited. My fiance agrees they shouldn't have RSVPed for their kid but then he also thinks if we tell them their kid isn't invited, we'll also have to tell the other cousin we told could bring their kid that their kid isn't invited to be consistent (he's also not sure she even remembers the conversation because everyone was pretty drunk by this point). But he also feels like he can't say no because they've already bought the plane tickets.
I just don't know how to handle this. One possibility we were thinking is that we could hire a baby sitter for all the kids to stay at my fiance's parent's place but since the mom of one of the kids won't even let her own parents watch her I'd doubt she'd let a stranger watch her kid for the night (it'd have to be a stranger hired from an agency since we don't know anyone in town who could do it). We're also trying not to spend tons of money and a baby sitter + feeding the kids would probably cost us a bunch of money to pay someone to watch several kids on a Sunday night of a long weekend.
Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks in advance!