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Vanessa
Frequent user September 2019 Ontario

Help: Canceling Vendor

Vanessa, on February 15, 2019 at 11:47 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 15

I need tips on how to break up with a vendor and request money back that is "non-refundable". I'm having a difficult time with one of my vendors and am getting bad vibes so I may want to cancel for my wedding (which is in 7 months) but I've already paid a large deposit. Technically she hasn't breached the contract in any way but she also hasn't really done anything either. The deposit is "to reserve the wedding date so no one else has access to it". I am fine releasing the date to someone else if I can get my deposit back but I do not know how to ask since I signed something that says the deposit is "non-refundable".

PLEASE HELP!!!!!

15 Comments

Latest activity by Amanda, on February 25, 2019 at 09:19
  • Amanda
    Super June 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    Unfortunately there is likely no way you are going to get that money back.

    Businesses put that on their contracts for this exact reason - if a client cancels, they still get at least some payment. There is nothing stopping you from asking for the deposit back but there is no reason for her to oblige.

    Asking is just asking, absolutely nothing wrong with that, but regardless of how you ask - don't be surprised when she says no.

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  • Hélène
    Devoted September 2019 Alberta
    Hélène ·
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    Hi Vanessa,

    I'm not sure where you're at with this, but check out Jordan Harbinger's discussion with Alex Kouts on negotiation: https://www.jordanharbinger.com/alex-kouts-the-secrets-you-dont-know-about-negotiation-part-one/ This is the link to part one of a three part series. There are some concrete take-aways that might help in your situation.

    I know it's time to invest into listening, but if it results in getting your money back and saving your sanity, it might be worth it. (More often than not, I listen to podcasts on the way to or from work.)

    Good luck with it and happy negotiating!

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  • Vanessa
    Frequent user September 2019 Ontario
    Vanessa ·
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    I would do this but I want to cancel on this vendor because she is unreliable and I believe she will ruin my wedding if I stay with her. The last thing I would do is pass this off to someone else to deal with.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    This is a topic hard to avoid for cancellation. I speak from experience as my husband was almost going to cancel on our vendors the second time after him getting into his moods of fighting and almost cancelling our contracts.

    Have you considered selling this contract to another couple to have this vendor change the names and dates that way? Being honest about breaching the contract on your part will cost you. Time frame for refunds occurs on how long after signing the contract you can get back.

    Another way which I don't like to say but is true, filing a case to sue the vendor if you choose not to pay the remaining amount and have the judge make that decision to win your case. Wishing you luck!!!

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  • Leah
    VIP April 2019 British Columbia
    Leah ·
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    It can't hurt to ask, but be prepared for a hard no since that's what the contract states. Maybe you can find another couple to "buy" your contract from you.

    I'm sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time with one of your vendors.

    Seeing as you may be stuck with each other, I would find a way to express your concerns to her and maybe give her a chance to shift the vibes she's putting out.

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  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    As others have said, a non refundable deposit is non refundable. It's to cover their own butts in case they cant now refill the date you requested. One thing you can try to do is find another couple who want your date at that location and sell the deposit to then? Otherwise if you break the contract, you lose the money sorry...
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  • Katrin
    Frequent user September 2019 Ontario
    Katrin ·
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    I'm sorry to say that you won't get your money back. Unless she breached the contract, there is a very, very low chance she will give you're non-refundable deposit back. You could definitely ask and be incredibly kind and nice, but you've signed something and it's in her right to keep it.

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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    Unfortunately you will not get your money back. A professional business does these non-refundable deposits because if the hosts decided to cancel for whatever reason and they are unable to book someone else then they still "get paid". If they haven't breached the contract and the only reason you are canceling is because they've disappointed you and you have bad vibes then you most definitely will not get it back because that's not their issue it's yours. This is also why reading reviews before booking is extremely important, but reviews don't always sum up the vendor. You may get bad reviews because someone was just a very difficult bride. It sucks but unfortunately this is how deposits work.
    There is definitely no harm in asking, just be upfront and ask about if you were to cancel her services would she be willing to give a refund. Or as Valerie said you may be able to sell your date, if the vendor approves that. Email, call or meet with her to talk about what issues you have and possible steps from there.
    Good luck, I hope it all works out!!
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  • Valérie
    VIP September 2019 Quebec
    Valérie ·
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    Like Daniela said, deposits are non-refundable - unless they have actually breached the contract.

    If you are unable to get your money back from the vendor directly, you could put the service/wedding date up for sale on Kijiji, Facebook Wedding Buy/Sell gourds and Wedding Wire. I've seen couples go that route in the event of a cancellation, relocation, etc.

    Hope it works out!

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  • Daniela
    Frequent user September 2020 Ontario
    Daniela ·
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    Aw okay Smiley sad man that really sucks. I really, really hope she gets back to you!! If and when she does, I would just start out by saying all the things you like about her from your initial meeting and that you were really looking forward to it and that her recent behaviour is leaving you disappointed. Don't read too much into the reviews, as Becky mentioned, there are always 2 sides and you never know what happened, although the fact that something similar is happening you cant help the feeling, its totally reasonable! Ask her if there is a way that things can be worked out, if she can't meet in person then skype or facetime would be an option for the time being. Sandwich approach works better haha compliment, negative, compliment. It might also prevent her from being super defensive. Fingers crossed for you!

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  • Michelle
    Expert April 2019 Alberta
    Michelle ·
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    I would say the only way you'd get that money back, is if she is actually able to secure another couple for that date- so she is not out any money.

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    Daniela's point is really good, hopefully she will actually call you back soon and ask to meet to discuss things. The review isn't helping your doubt with this vendor either. Sometimes there are people who just aren't happy and we don't know the vendors side either. I hope this all works out for you and she explains herself. What type of vendor is it?

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  • Vanessa
    Frequent user September 2019 Ontario
    Vanessa ·
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    Thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate it! A bit of back story without getting too far into it: I've tried to meet with her 4 times to discuss things and she has cancelled every time for various reasons. On top of that, a very bad review was written on her Facebook page saying that she is flakey, difficult, and did not allow the couple to have a stress free wedding day. This review was written just a few weeks after I booked with her. I sent her an email about my concerns yesterday but she has not answered. Initially I did meet with her and I really did like her but the review I read is in line with what is happening to me and I just don't know how to bring this up.

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  • Rachael
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Rachael ·
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    I second what Daniela said. I hope things work out for you!

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  • Daniela
    Frequent user September 2020 Ontario
    Daniela ·
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    Hmm that's a tough one. I am sorry that the vendor has not hold up on their end and that has left you disappointed Smiley sad Deposits are in fact non-refundable, and it's there to show someone that you are serious about something, on both ends of course. I know it says that it's to reserve your wedding date so no one else has access to it, but that's exactly what makes it a deposit, and it acts as more than that. Between the time you booked and up until today, this vendor could have had many requests for your date but they declined of course because you paid the deposit. You wanting this back now means that they lost business from all of the other requests and a new client they could have had, had you not put a deposit down. It's a crazy market out there so if let's say you get that back , its highly unlikely that they would not get another client, they probably will, but again it's the uncertainty that will probably deter them from giving it back. I don't mean to be negative but it might be hard to get that back. All you can do is ask, it definitely does not hurt, and who knows maybe they are nice and understand and give it back or compromise and give you something!! It's also all about reputation and word of mouth, so a vendor should take that into consideration, you can go on social media and write negative reviews and that perhaps will make an impact, so vendors think of this too. Alternatively, they can realize that clearly they are not doing their job and they would want to step it up and make it up to you. If you chose them, it must have been because you liked them, I think letting them know that you are not happy for x,y,z reason should be the first step. Like you said, because they have not breached the contract, they probably dont realize that they are not doing something that is important to you, so let them know. If you have let them know already and they have done nothing ignore that part of my advice haha. BUT If they continue to act this way then I would say asking for the deposit would be a reasonable step, although highly unlikely.


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