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Abbie
Devoted June 2022 Nova Scotia

Guest Lists and Plus Ones

Abbie, on October 23, 2020 at 13:52 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 11
So I’m combing over the guest list and we really can’t go over 50 guests. The problem is, 95% of our guests will have to travel to a different province (or country) to celebrate with us as we moved a year ago. Ideally, I would like to give everyone a Plus One as who wants to travel alone? But the more I look at it, the less feasible it seems.


Etiquette-wise, do you think it would be ok to not give our guests plus ones, unless they are married or in an otherwise committed relationship - for example have children together? The way I’m looking at it, is people will likely be making a holiday out of the trip if they choose to come. So realistically it would be one day where their plus one that they travelled with would be left to their own devices, out of the whole holiday. Does that seem rude?
Luckily, everyone who is coming without a partner would know at least one other person at the wedding.
Thanks all!

11 Comments

Latest activity by Abbie, on November 4, 2020 at 15:49
  • Abbie
    Devoted June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    Thanks Vinod! That’s a good tip! 😊
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Your not obligated to give Plus ones to all guests. Individuals in serious relationships and you know about, they should be invited upon your choice. Families as one. The one advice is to be specific with names on the labels and if you have RSVP cards, put the number to prevent more being invited from every household. Its hard enough to keep the numbers to the venues limit.

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  • Abbie
    Devoted June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    That sounds totally reasonable and I know I would respect that if I were the guest!
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  • Abbie
    Devoted June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    That’s good to know! The etiquette is all so new to me!
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  • Abbie
    Devoted June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    That’s true - they’re under no obligation to come haha Smiley smile we’re hoping by 2022 Covid restrictions will be a thing of the past, so not necessarily a viable “excuse” for us, but hopefully our guests will respect that we’re a young couple on a budget! I know I’ve never questioned not being given a plus-one, even when travelling to a wedding. Hopefully people will do us the same courtesy Smiley smile
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  • Geneviève
    VIP September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
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    The one advantage of the pandemic is people have to be understanding of the restrictions you’re under because any objections would be seen as rude or reckless. We had friends who were married and had children where we could only invite the one, and in our case they understood. You’ve got to do what is best for you and if people don’t like it, they don’t have to come.
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  • Michelle
    Frequent user June 2023 British Columbia
    Michelle ·
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    Even pre covid, our invites were for couples as a unit and no one received “plus ones”. People in relationships should always be invited as a unit, additional plus ones are not necessary, especially during a pandemic.

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    There's no such thing as polite or rude when it comes to who to invite to a restricted pandemic wedding. If anything, it's rude for people to think they're entitled to bring someone to attend in another's place when circumstances don't allow it.

    In order to make it work with restrictions, we're cutting +1 regardless if they're dating short term, long term, married, or have children. And we're definitely cutting children. The only exception is if we know both people prior to them entering a relationship (ex I know my groomsman for as long as I know his wife, well before they married and both are equally my friends).

    You just have to do what you have to do in order to make it work.

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  • Abbie
    Devoted June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    My mistake, I didn't mean to imply that a committed couple without children would be any less committed, it just so happens in our case that the only unmarried couple where I have never met one half of the couple happens to be raising children together Smiley smile

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  • Arexy
    Devoted October 2020 Ontario
    Arexy ·
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    I would say if someone is married or in a committed relationship (children or not) and you know BOTH people then they should be allowed to come together. If it’s a friend of yours, and they are newly dating someone or dating someone you don’t know, you can pass on the plus one.
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  • Abbie
    Devoted June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    As an additional question, if a friend who is married is local and will know other people at the wedding, but you hardly know their spouse, do you think it would be ok to invite only the friend?
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