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Randa
Curious July 2018 Ontario

Gifts for guests

Randa, on March 19, 2018 at 23:09 Posted in Wedding reception 0 14

Is it inappropriate to not give tokens or gifts to the wedding guests? I'm a second time bride and many years ago it was an Italian tradition to give bonbonierres to the guests, that was the only time I had ever heard of it. Now it seems to be mainstream. Is there anyone not giving some kind of gift?



14 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on March 29, 2018 at 19:55
  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    We gave favours despite what others do or say. It was a crystal tealight votive per household as to giving per person.
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  • Randa
    Curious July 2018 Ontario
    Randa ·
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    Thanks for all your responses. I do agree that it's a nice gesture to give a gift (it doesn't replace a proper hand written thank you card of course). However with my guests all being over 50 except about 10 people I'm afraid it becomes just another token to deal with.
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  • Randa
    Curious July 2018 Ontario
    Randa ·
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    I think if your mums wanted it then it's important to do.
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  • Randa
    Curious July 2018 Ontario
    Randa ·
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    I must respectfully disagree. I don't think anyone invited thinks of my wedding as a sacrifice. It's a celebration and they are welcome to decline the invitation. They are given a very expensive meal, drinks, dancing, a sweet table and a fun happy evening The gift given is up to the guest they can spend as little or as much as they can afford and choose to give. I do agree a small gift is nice. More important though is a thank you after the wedding to show you appreciate their presence and any gift received.
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  • Randa
    Curious July 2018 Ontario
    Randa ·
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    This is the problem. Most people are over 50. Some quite a bit older. Most don't eat too many sweets anymore (although we are having a large sweet table for those that do) they are all cleaning house and trying to unload all the trinkets, mugs, plates etc they've collected over the years. There is simply very little I can think of that would be appreciated. Maybe a donation in their name.
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  • Randa
    Curious July 2018 Ontario
    Randa ·
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    Thanks! They really are expensive.
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  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·
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    We debating skipping it. It can be just another thing to pay for and we reasoned we were putting on an event, having amazing food, great entertainment and an open bar which is costing us around $200 per person.

    In the end, we decided to do small favours (about $1.70 per person) as a token as both our mums voiced they thought it was 'appropriate' and the extra $160 wasn't work arguing over in the grand scheme of things.

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  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    It doesn't have to be a big thing but it is nice to show your guests that you appreciate their attendance at this big event and in your life.

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  • Joey
    WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland
    Joey ·
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    It's a nice gesture but it is also totally fine to skip them

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  • Tatiana
    Expert April 2018 Ontario
    Tatiana ·
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    Overall i think is a very nice gesture to give a little thank you gift, we struggled with what to get that wouldn't be thrown away a food item or kitchen item is what we came up with.

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  • C
    Curious July 2018 Ontario
    Cathy ·
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    A type of Thank-You is always the way to go - this displays gratitude, appreciatation and thoughtfulfulness. ( Try not to get something that people will just throw away, $4-6 per person seems reasonable). Sometimes people forget that the guests do sacrifice time & money to attend our nuptials so any extra "treat" for them at the wedding is encouraged.
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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
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    I think it’s still a nice gesture to give something to thank your guests for coming. It can be small. My friend gave out little bags of chocolate to everyone.

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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    We don't think we'll be giving any favours or gifts to our guests. We are young and want to start a family soon and weddings are expensive so we are planning to save money everywhere we can. Totally fine not to do it, don't worry!
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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    I’ve recently been to wedding where they had bonbonierres but they were less formal. One was cupcakes (my Italian cousins wedding) and the other was handkerchiefs (fiancé’s Canadian cousins wedding).

    I’m planning to still do it because it just seems like proper etiquette.
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