Father of the Bride Tradition

I agree with people below, it just isn't the same traditional standard now as it was then. I think weddings in general are alot different then even when our parents got married. And much more expensive as well. I can't imagine any one person being able to foot the majority of that bill. Amazing if they can though! But I never went into planning a wedding, expecting any financial contributions at all. FH and I got this ourselves and are super happy with that decision I also detest having to do something because "tradition" states it so. Don't even get me started on the cake conversation.

Congratulations!

We are paying for everything ourselves, I'm just happy my dad is going to walk me down the aisle (health issues. My FH parents are helping where they can as well. I dont recall the last time I heard a bride say their parents paid for their wedding.

We are paying for our own wedding, my dad isn't in the picture and my mom is helping with some pieces but we decided this was ours to take on financially. I know my grandma wants to help too so we aren't entirely on our own, but we're planning as if we are.
The tradition of parents paying for the wedding doesn't seem to be very common anymore. It has been the case for each of the weddings I've been to including one in Mexico city this past March (not a destination wedding for the couple, just for my family being fringe Toronto), but otherwise I think it might be a dying tradition.

It never even occurred to me that anyone except me and FH would pay for our wedding. I've never met a bride who had parents pay for the wedding. I guess it happens though.

Echoing the others, I think it is the exception when parents pay for a wedding. It's a bit of an antiquated tradition
As the mother of a 14 year old girl, I won't be footing the bill if she chooses to marry. I won't be footing the bill for my son either. My priority will be ensuring their education is covered and helping them buy a home.

FH and I are also paying for our own wedding my siblings offered some help but not my parents as they are both retired

View quoted message

I mean... ya? lol I have yet to be at a wedding payed for by the parents ~ then again, I'm 22 and haven't been to many weddings.

I know that way back in the day it was the brides family to pay for things but you also have to consider that there are now weddings where there are no brides right? Just Man & Man and some Wife & Wife weddings

Hence why you may end up coming across lots of discussions asking for help on how to save money here on wedding wire Most of us on here are paying for our own weddings and look to each other for help in how to save and what to DIY!

We are paying for our own wedding. My father has not offered, though the wedding is a year away.

I feel it is not his duty. Especially at my age.

It can be still in a way of them offering to help out. Now adays, couples are paying for majority of the weddings with some help of the parents. Budgeting is the key to know what you can afford and what is doable as to having to borrow from others or renting route to save the cost and returning the items without storing it at home. That was my way of looking at things and parents making purchases overseas for me for the wedding day. They Paid for the centerpieces and money box without asking me to pay them back.

Times are changing and so are the costs of wedding vendors services.

Yeah it's definitely really common now for the bride's parents to not foot the bill for the whole wedding. We're lucky in that both sets of our parents are helping us a bit but we're paying for a good chunk of our wedding ourselves.

More and more couples now a days are paying for their own weddings. We’re paying for the majority of our wedding. My dad and my in laws gave us a bit of money to help out but parents aren’t paying for the traditional things ( ie my in-laws are not paying for our rehearsal dinner, we’re paying for our own )

I think it depends on the family. I work at a bank and see it all, there are lots of parents giving "inheritance" to their children prior to themselves passing so they can see the children enjoy the funds. I have seen brides put an entire wedding on a line of credit, I've seen retirement funds be withdrawn for weddings, I have seen it all.

I think the best thing to do is to write out all of your assets & liabilities (What you have vs. what you owe), a wedding budget and a plan on how you are going to afford the wedding on your own. Then bring the entire thing to your families so they can get an accurate picture of your finances. From there parents may be more inclined to contribute. You also may be surprised with gift $$$ on the wedding date.

Paying for yourself is more becoming the norm. My fiance and I are paying for everything. My mom is a bit more traditional and wanted to pay for the dress, but didn't have the money being freshly retired...so she bought the day of wedding jewelry instead.

Like another poster said, there are a lot of similar topics about parents paying vs. yourself, percent of who does what, etc, so we are all in the trenches together on it! LOL

I agree with Tori, having your parents pay for the wedding isn’t common at all any more.

every person I personally know is paying for their wedding.

Especially with children living a home longer, they’re having to support their children longer, or contributing elsewhere in their lives (ie paying for education).

View quoted message High fives to wedding struggles together!! Lol.

View quoted message You are definitely not alone with this!! There are countless other threads here on the same topic. It's nice to read through and know we are all facing very similar struggles. 😊

View quoted message I see. Thanks for the advice. Guess I am glad to hear we aren't the only one paying for our own wedding.

We only know one couple who had the father of the bride pay for most of the wedding. We are paying for the entire event ourselves, which I can echo is likely the norm now!

View quoted message Now the norm?!.... I haven't heard about that. Has everyone had this happen?.... My fiance has wondered if my father just doesn't like my fiance and that's why he isn't helping out. Every woman who was once a girl dreams of her wedding day and hopes she might have that day come true. Even if it's her first love of her father helping her out.

I think that having your parents not pay is now the norm. Not everybody has the money - especially with parents putting their kids through school.

If they have the money and still don't want to help... Idk, my parents did what they could (payed for my dress+veil)