Sarah-Lynn
Newbie June 2020 Ontario

Bridal Party conflict

Sarah-Lynn, on 12/August/2019 at 10:44

Posted in Plan a wedding 25

Hey everyone, first time writing on the discussion board and hoping for some insight. My fiancé and I are finalizing who to choose for our bridal party. We feel like we have it narrowed down but now my family is upset with who we have not chosen. What is everyone’s take on the requirement to include...
Hey everyone, first time writing on the discussion board and hoping for some insight.
My fiancé and I are finalizing who to choose for our bridal party. We feel like we have it narrowed down but now my family is upset with who we have not chosen.
What is everyone’s take on the requirement to include family members in a bridal party?
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25 Comments

  • Becky
    Featured September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·

    Are you close with your family members? I had one of my two sisters in it- one supported other did not- It caused things to be really horrible and ended up letting the other sister in. Regretful but she still hasn't forgive and our relationship has taken a toll because never asked in first place. I only had one sister of his family as well and then few friends. It would depend on how close everyone is on each side. My fh had my brother in law but they get a long and talk a chunk. It worked out numbers wise too

  • Madisyn
    Devoted April 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
    We decided not to have any family members in our small wedding party (3 on each side.) This blanket statement rule made it somewhat easier for us because then we didn't feel obligated to include another sibling or favourite first cousin, etc.

    At the end of the day, your bridal party should be exactly who you want to be standing next to you on your wedding day, be it family or not. Like others have said, this won't be the first resistance you face regarding your choices. They will ultimately get over it!
  • Sarah-Lynn
    Newbie June 2020 Ontario
    Sarah-Lynn ·
    View quoted message
    Thanks ladies !
    On my side I chose to include his sister as one of my bridesmaid with no influence or push from my fiancé along with my girlfriends.
    Now on his side because he has such a close group of guy friends he has chosen 4 friends to stand beside him. He is not even including his own 2 brothers or my brother.

    We were happy with our decision but are saddened that some want to spoil this time with their own opinions (I hear ya I’m sure it won’t be the last obstacle)
  • Tori
    Featured October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·

    Hi Sarah-Lynn!! Congrats on the engagement and making your first discussion!
    For us I only have 1 sister and although we aren't the closest - we grew up with the mindset that family comes first and friends come and go. She is my MOH and I will be hers when she gets married. As for cousins and the rest - I'm not close to them so they aren't in the wedding party. I would go based off of siblings and then friends. No need for cousins though IMO.
    I will say this - my FH's Mom has a daughter - she may not even attend the wedding. So if you don't even talk to a sibling or really don't get along... no need to have them in the wedding party either.

  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·

    Ah the old "automatically-in-the-bridal-party-because-we're-siblings/family" debate!

    If you are not close with the person your family wants you to include, don't include them! It's your bridal party, not theirs! If you want to include the family member in question some other way, you could have them do a reading at the ceremony/lead grace at the dinner - but only if you want to!

  • Kelsie
    Featured July 2020 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
    Welcome to WeddingWire!! Congratulations on your engagement!

    I have a family member in my bridal party and to be honest, I have huge regrets already. My biggest biggest piece of advice is to include who you want, do what you want, don’t listen to other people if it’s not something you would choose to do on your own.

    For the people we didn’t put in our party, we
    are inviting my FSIL and her husband to do our dinner prayer, my new cousins to do some church readings and another cousin to do the water and vodka polish tradition.

    you can always include the family you don’t have in your party in your wedding in other ways!
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·

    Family always has something to say upon your decisions and how they feel about siblings not being included.

    You and FH have to know whom is to be part of the bridal party since you want them standing beside you at the altar. It will be hard to accept what will be said or done since they may not want to look at you for the way you have come upon your choices.

    Family and siblings may come across strong as to why you didn't choose them on your side to stand. Don't let this get to you or how they feel about it. There are many reasons as to your siblings are not that close to you or not trusting them in some ways. Biggest reason could be is they would have their say and feel it should be their way over yours. It can go in any way thought out.

    Remember that this your day and FH becoming one. Your decisions are more of yours than the family since they have to say or input for what they aren't being helpful in a way.

    We both didn't have any siblings in our wedding party and there wasn't any arguments on that part.

  • Sarah-Lynn
    Newbie June 2020 Ontario
    Sarah-Lynn ·
    View quoted message
    Thank you for the warm welcome Casey and words of wisdom
    I know parents can have a hard time understanding that traditions and weddings are different now. My mom is still trying to understand ‘first look photos’. I don’t want to disappoint my mother but at the same time I don’t want who she is suggesting
  • Casey
    Featured October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
    Welcome to Wedding Wire Lynn!
    I honestly did not feel the need to include family members in our wedding party, but we did because we are closer to our siblings than any friends.
    it is your wedding party, and you include whoever you want to stand beside you on that day. Regardless of who you pick, there are going to be comments.
    I have 2 step sisters and had some comments because they were not included, but I honestly do not have a relationship with them and that was enough reasoning for me to not include them.
    Do what you and your FH want! It is your day, no one elses

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