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Beginner August 2020 British Columbia

Breaking Invite Traditions

Mystica, on July 13, 2019 at 16:45 Posted in Before the wedding 0 4
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As you all know, the guest list for the actual reception can get out of hand. It’s hard to incorporate everyone that matters to you, & everyone that you think should be in attendance as a formality while balancing your other half’s guest list. Although I would like to invite some classmates, I may not have room for all of them depending on if all of my family RSVPs that they will be attending.

So I was thinking that maybe I could invite these people to my bridal shower even if I can’t have them at my reception? I know many articles say that this is taboo, but I still want their presence at at least one of my events... They matter to me, but I can’t justify trading them for my family’s spots. I’m not even inviting all of my family! What do you think?


  • Sarah
    Expert July 2021 Ontario
    Sarah ·
    • Dispute
    I agree with general opinion.. because bridal showers are really just a gift-giving event, it’s kind of rude to invite them to the shower and essentially expect a gift but then not invite them to the wedding.

    We have friends who had a destination wedding and since it was a small guest list, what they did was have a big engagement party and wrote on the invites that they did not want gifts. So a lot of people could go and party with them and the whole gift/not going to the wedding thing didn’t get weird.
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  • S
    Curious August 2021 Ontario
    Sam ·
    • Dispute
    One of my friends invited me to her bridal shower/bachelorette but not to the wedding. She explained this to me ahead of time that she was having a relatively small wedding but still wanted me to be there for some of the festivities. I had a great time!

    If your friends are laid back and you don't think they would be offended I don't think it's an issue! Just make sure you are open about it with them so they aren't expecting an invitation later.
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  • Cliodhna
    WeddingWire Admin January 2030 Galway
    Cliodhna ·
    • Dispute

    Hi there Mystica Smiley smile

    A bridal shower is a gift-giving event, which is why anyone who is invited to a bridal shower must be invited to the wedding also.

    Perhaps you could explain to them why your guest list is so limited and otherwise you would love to have them at the wedding. You could arrange a dinner, wine & cheese night, or night out before or after the wedding for you all to celebrate Smiley smile

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  • Tori
    Master October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute

    I've got to go with what the articles say - it's just one of those things where it comes across as a money grab unfortunately.
    If you do go ahead and ask them to attend the wedding shower then I would say just make it clear that it's the best you can do given the numbers already on your guest list for the wedding and that gifts are NOT wanted/expected from them at the shower and it's a way to be able to celebrate with them.

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