Master August 2017 Ontario

Asking for money

Chelsea, on 26/October/2016 at 14:10 Posted in Wedding reception

Hello beautiful future brides! I am just wondering how you would go about asking for money as a gift for your wedding vs an actual gift. My fiance and I have been living together for 5 years so we already have a place together with pretty much everything we need furniture wise right now. We wont need anything more until we buy a house together (we currently rent), which wont be for a couple more years. We would prefer getting the cash from the wedding to pay it off and then we can start saving for a house. Do I word this on the invitation, or do I tell the guests we would prefer cash. Just not sure how to go about this!?

Please help Smiley smile




  • Jocelyn
    Expert August 2018 Ontario
    Jocelyn ·
    I saw a request asking for money on a friend's invitation...and for me, i found it to be really inappropriate.

    some also say not to include registry info on the invitations, but i personally wanted to let guests know- especially as my FH and I have out of town guests. we simply said "we appreciate all gifts, but for those wondering, we are registered (insert name of store)".
  • Chelsea
    Master August 2017 Ontario
    Chelsea ·
    Thank you !! I appreciate the help Smiley smile
  • Cinthia
    Newbie February 2017 New Brunswick
    Cinthia ·
    I researched it for the same reasons you did and the etiquette was that it's okay to ask for monetary gifts. It recommended specifying something towards which you wanted money such as a honeymoon or a down payment on a house. We are not doing formal invitations but registering on the website. If I were printing invitations, I don't think I would put it on there though.
  • Lisa
    VIP May 2018 Ontario
    Lisa ·
  • Lisa
    VIP May 2018 Ontario
    Lisa ·
    I agree 150%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I'm a guest and get asked for money on an invitation I bring a gift!! Lol that's how much it bothers me!
  • Lisa
    VIP May 2018 Ontario
    Lisa ·
    I would never never ask, not on an invitation or ever. If you are not registered anywhere , people are smart enough to know to give a monetary gift. And the parents and maid of honour know, and as people are talking the monetary gift can be suggested at that point. But that's just my opinion.
  • Natasha
    VIP August 2017 Ontario
    Natasha ·
    We did a small registry for our tradition guests who will out right refuse to give money .. so at least they can purchase something good we actually want ... but I will be having a card box as I was told it was not polite to ask for money as a gift .... most people now a days just bring cards with money anyways !
  • Chelsea
    Master August 2017 Ontario
    Chelsea ·
    Thank you for some helpful advice !!!! Much appreciated Smiley smile
  • Melinda
    Devoted September 2017 Ontario
    Melinda ·

    When my brother got married they put a short poem in their invitations (if you google "poem to ask for money at wedding" you'll get something similar). It was cute and sweet and not rude at all. Some people still gave gifts even though they didn't have a registry and that was fine because they were nice, meaningful gifts. Everyone else was happy to give money.

  • Chelsea
    Master August 2017 Ontario
    Chelsea ·

    Thank you Melissa!

  • Chelsea
    Master August 2017 Ontario
    Chelsea ·

    We actually have a birdcage that is gold (our accent colour for our colour scheme)! The reception hall actually provides it for us. I will post a photo of how it might look done up! Just an idea I had found on pinterest. Not really sure how I will decorate it yet but we will add some sort of decoration to it so it is more done up and not a plain birdcage!

  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·

    Agree with Valerie and Emilie- rather than ask for money, just use word of mouth to spead that, or add on the wedding website.

    I'm also hoping that by not registering people will take the hint, I think this is a pretty common way to do things now, so it won't confuse most people. At least in the last few weddings I've attended.

  • Emilie
    Featured Quebec
    Emilie ·

    Hi Chelsea! Smiley heart

    I'm glad you're asking the question because it's definitely a subject up to debate!!

    I think if you prefer to ask for money, it's totally up to you. It's your wedding after all! Smiley winking

    I just created this discussion to help you find the right wording to communicate it:

    5 ways to ask for money instead of a gift

    Like Valerie said, etiquette recommends not writing it into your invitations, but rather tell your preference to close family and friends, so that if anyone asks they will know what to answer. It's even a good idea to put it on your wedding website in the gift section!

    I hope this will give you more ideas!! Will you make a nice card box or wishing well?

    You could do something like this! Smiley smile

    Wishing Well / Card Box Idea

    How do you like the idea?

  • Valerie
    VIP April 2017 Ontario
    Valerie ·

    Definitely don't put this information in your invitations, it is considered very rude! The best way to "ask" for money is to just not ask for anything. Don't make a registry, and just let your parents and wedding party know your preference, that way if anyone asks your family/friends can let them know by word of mouth. People don't really like being TOLD what to give as a gift

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