Frequent user August 2019 New Brunswick

Advice for the married women - Manage stress day of wedding

Missa, on 30/July/2019 at 08:51 Posted in Wedding ceremony

Hi Ladies!

I know that many of you stay active on the group after your big day. One of my biggest worry is that I am unable to let go the day of. I am a very anxious person (and my wedding is in 18 days!) and I just want to make sure that whatever happens I am able to let go, and fully enjoy my day.

Any tips?



  • Veronica
    Featured October 2020 Alberta
    Veronica ·

    I appreciate this post! I feel like this is going to be ME 100%.

    We ONLY get access to the venue at 3pm, for a 4:30pm start. Luckily the venue is (smallish) and already beautiful decorated, so our decor is going to be fairly simple to set up. But this has me freeeeaking out because I can't be apart of this at all. During that 1.5 hours we will be wrapping up first look photos and then up to the bridal suite for me to relax while guests arrive and such. So I won't see the decor & set up until our grand entrance. Ugh.

    I've already mentioned it a few times to my bridal party. I have been assured a million times to trust them to take care of all the details and just relax. I feel lucky enough to have ladies I can trust, as well as extended family members who have offered to step up and help coordinate/decorate. I am going to be doing mock set ups of everything, taking photos and sending this out to my team to help them get my vision down. But ultimately, I think I will get over it in the moment and as someone mentioned, only YOU know what you want it to look like so if it does not work out, the no one will know.

    Good luck and wish you all the best on your upcoming wedding day! Would love to hear a report back Smiley smile

  • Jennifer
    Curious August 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·

    Just remember the entire focal point / purpose of the wedding is you and your partner and beginning a future together. All of the little things won't matter in the long run!

  • Tamara
    Frequent user July 2019 Nova Scotia
    Tamara ·

    Here is what happened at my wedding:

    Things went wrong and I didn't even know. Family, friends, your bridal party etc. will rush in, fix everything, and walk away as if nothing happened.

    While we were out getting some photos of just the two of us one of our nephews spilled a bottle of red wine all over one of the tables. My aunts and bridal party stripped the table, found a replacement cloth and bottle of wine, and put the whole thing back together. I didn't even know that it happened until the day after.

    We also couldn't find the salt and pepper shakers day of. I took a deep breath and realized everyone has these things. I filled the two sets in our home and called a few family members on their way to bring their sets. People shared and no one cared.

    I think the best thing you can do is just know that things will go wrong. They will. But stop and ask yourself: what is the purpose of this day? Is it for people to gush over their name tags? Do you honestly remember what the centrepieces looked like at a wedding 2,3,4 years ago? This day is for marrying the love of your life, and as long as that happens- you've won. Everything else is just extra and just think of it that way. It's sprinkles on the icing on the cake.

    It will be wonderful. Just breathe and enjoy it. You can only feel these emotions on your wedding day. Not before, not after. They are uncomfortable but they are beautiful.

  • Kelly
    Devoted May 2020 Ontario
    Kelly ·
    Create a list off phone number of people you trust that can be called the day of and that the vendors etc can rely on and you can rely on them to get things done the way you want. Ensure you really trust them to see your vision through and take a deep breath! It will all be fine
  • Candace
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Candace ·
    So I’m along the same lines, super anxious about things, especially things I’ve spent two years planning. Surprisingly though, I woke up on my wedding day to s thunderstorm, my hair/makeup artist was half hour late and I hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep, but I was excited and not at all anxious. Once we had the rehearsal and everyone in the wedding party knew what was happening I just calmed way down. You can’t control most things on the day of because being the bride keeps you SO busy! As long as you have people who can help with anything that comes up the day of, you’ll be good. The day is fun and exciting and it’s hard to have any negatives or stresses once it finally arrives!
    enjoy, I hope all goes well for you 😊
  • Missa
    Frequent user August 2019 New Brunswick
    Missa ·
    View quoted message

    That's so exciting!! I am sure it will go perfectly well. Its great that you have someone you trust to help you out with this though!!

  • Karine
    Curious October 2019 Quebec
    Karine ·
    My wedding is in October and I’m a control freak 😬 I am lucky to have found find that someone who understands me and has the same vision as me in whom I can trust (someone I’ve known for a long time) She will be decorating/coordinating the entire event and that already has put a huge weight off my shoulders! I hope you all the best on your soon wedding day! So exciting 😍
  • Missa
    Frequent user August 2019 New Brunswick
    Missa ·
    View quoted message

    Hi Vinod !

    Thank you for the tips. I think that I will try to have a mix of fun events with friends and family the week before yet I will still try to go over my list to reassure myself that everything is in order. I really do want to be fully present the day of and not worrying about what might be happening behind the scenes etc!!

  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·

    The big day is what we do look forward to when it comes to the final days of planning. Though I always looked the lists and ensuring everything was in order and perfected to the final touch.

    However, it was work that I also did have to focus on and keep my attention there without and distractions. The idea helped to keep my thoughts of the wedding plans as much as it consumed me.

    Take daily walks in the evening, movie night outs and enjoy time with friends and family.

  • Sharlene
    Devoted August 2019 Alberta
    Sharlene ·
    View quoted message
    Hopefully it will help both of us. I will know soon enough if it works for me. Our wedding is Saturday 😊👰🤵
  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I think that's a big thing - just trust things will go well. You'll have the support of your family and bridal party the day-of and the first look will probably help a lot with the nerves!!

  • Missa
    Frequent user August 2019 New Brunswick
    Missa ·
    View quoted message

    That's good to know!! I think that you're most likely right and that I will wake up ready to get married Smiley smile I just don't want to be my own worse enemy !! You're right about being busy actually ! It will go by really fast!

  • Missa
    Frequent user August 2019 New Brunswick
    Missa ·
    View quoted message

    We are during a first look early afternoon so I think this will help alot with my nerves! I asked my MOH to spend the night before at the hotel with me and I asked my bridesmaid to bring good music so we can enjoy it and have fun. I am hoping to have most of it ready the day before as we have access to the reception room then so, I think everything should be okay, I just need to be calm and trust that everything will be ok even though it most likely wont go exactly according to plan haha

  • Missa
    Frequent user August 2019 New Brunswick
    Missa ·
    View quoted message

    I have been working on this with my decorator - a lot of back and forth at the moment. We should have it covered - but its good to have it all documented so my bridesmaid can go check in during the day to make sure it's going well. I think it will go well, I just need to have one trusted bridesmaid to make sure we are following the schedule!!

  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
    I thought the same thing and I was so chill from the moment we woke up. Probably because at first it was just a normal day, waking up to our son needing food and attention. Even once my husband went and met his guys in their room and my girls and hairstylist and photographer arrived I was still super chill. I didn't once worry about what was happening at the venue.
    I think this is a worry everyone has and it seems that almost no one actually spends their wedding morning worrying. I think you'll surprise yourself with how calm you are on your wedding. You're going to be so busy you won't have time to worry!
  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·

    My bridesmaid got married just over a month ago. She said she was stressed/nervous up until she walked down the aisle. Once she saw her FH standing at the alter, all the stress melted away.

    She told me later that having us (the bridal party) keeping her calm and having fun during the getting ready phase really helped her calm some nerves. So having fun with your bridal party the morning of can make a difference!

    She was also able to have most things ready the day before and if anything needed setting up day of, she left it to a trusted person. Like Amanda said, you're the only one who knows exactly what you planned, so if things go off-plan, no one will really know except you.

    At the end of the day, if you got married, your day was a success!

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