Jen
VIP June 2018 Ontario

40 days..

Jen, on April 30, 2018 at 10:52 Posted in Plan a wedding
We are officially 40 days out and I feel more lost than ever. My anxiety is at an all time high and the nightmares have increased tenfold. I think because all of the big decision making is over I have NO idea what we should be doing.

I keep having dreams about the day not going at all like how we imagined. I've dreamt of losing my dress and having to wear a suit, my best friend and MOH not showing up because her dress doesn't fit her, plus a million other things.

We are working on a day of timeline but I have NO idea where to even start. I have felt pretty prepared up until now. My chest hurts all of the time because of the anxiety. On my days off when I could be doing wedding things I just sit around. It doesn't feel exciting anymore and I honestly just want the day here so it can be over with.

For those who are roughly around the same timeline as us, what are you doing right now for the wedding?


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11 Comments

  • Tanya
    Newbie April 2019 Ontario
    Tanya ·
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    I am not on the same timeline you are, but I understand what you are going through. Every time an anxious thought comes up, you really need to think about what the evidence is to support that. Most of the times it is just fear, if something needs to be addressed, think about what you CAN fix. Divide the day/to do list into different time slots and write down what needs to be done within those time slots itself. Writing things down is usually the best way to get everything out of your head and onto paper. My friend wrote an itinerary before the wedding to stay organized and feeling in control. I hope this helps.

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  • Taylor
    Frequent user June 2018 Ontario
    Taylor ·
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    I am 32 days away and also stressing BUT I downloaded a general to do app and added everything I need to do and look at it every day and see what I can accomplish today and plan it that way. In terms of a time line for the day of, I first asked my make up and hair girls how long they needed for each of us, an hour per girl (3 hours) then I based my ceremony start on how long the ceremony will be and to time is so that dinner at 6 Will work, we have a short ceremony (30 mins) so it's at 4-430, family and couple pictures (cocktail hour) 430-6, dinner 6. We are doing a first look, I wanted 1.5 hours for that before ceremony, so 2-330. Our day goes like this: 9-12 hair and make up, 12-2 pictures with bridesmaids, mom, Dad, grandma. 2-330 first look. Ceremony 4-430, pictures/cocktail hour 430-6, dinner 6-7, first dance, cake cutting, father daughter dance 7-730, open reception 8. We have our 2 photographers 11-9 (10 hours). I want sunset pictures at 830 before they leave
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  • Jennifer
    Super August 2018 Alberta
    Jennifer ·
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    Seriously though!!! Lol There’s so much to do just gotta take it one thing at a time I suppose
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  • Jen889
    Devoted May 2018 Quebec
    Jen889 ·
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    I googled wedding timeline examples. I found a few that looked really good and based my timeline off of them.
    I spoke toy make up and hairstylist, asked how long for the girls and I. That planned the morning section.

    Spoke to the photographer, she sent me the timing she needed for photos. That finished off the morning part since we're doing first look.

    I spoke to my caterer and asked him how much time to plan for salad service, buffet prep and serving of the actual buffet. That helped plan off the rest of the reception.

    It seems so stressful at first but when you google and break it down,it's not so bad.

    I'm 17 days away and the nerves are kicking in. Everything is done, thank God, so now I can just sit back and try to relax.
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  • Jen
    VIP June 2018 Ontario
    Jen ·
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    We don't even have an MC and are basically pinpointing all of that to our DJ and hopefully his groomsmen to throw some stuff together. Ugh, I honestly didn't realize ALL of the little details when it came to planning a wedding. I think I'm going to go and take a nap now lol

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  • Jennifer
    Super August 2018 Alberta
    Jennifer ·
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    We’re 109 days out and I feel like I’m just going to be stressed for the rest of the time being. I’ve also had some nightmares, everyone forgot about our wedding - vendors and guests! I hope you start to feel better soon!!
    We’re not at the same timeline so I don’t think what we’re doing will help you very much. My fiancé’s uncle asked us yesterday to start putting together stuff for him as he is the MC and all’s I can think of is the basic timeline. He said to also give him some honourable mentions/ shout outs of people we want to thank so he has some things to say if he needs some time filler stuff. I honestly thought he would come up with all that stuff (games, advice or jokes) I didn’t even think of having to give him extra things to talk about. So now I’m thinking of things to give him and it’s stressing me a little
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  • Jen
    VIP June 2018 Ontario
    Jen ·
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    I actually haven't been doing any wedding stuff so I think that is what has been adding to this feeling. I talked a bit to my MOH today and feel a little better. I also wrote down a list of things that aren't on my online checklists to complete. I use a checklist in a planning book, on wedding wire and also on the knot. I'm a keeper of lists lol

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  • Brittany
    Master January 2019 British Columbia
    Brittany ·
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    For your day-of timeline... start with just listing what is going to happen... not necessarily in order, just list all of the actual events of the day that you can think of. Then re-arrange for general order. Figure out approximately how long each thing will take. Then start at the ceremony time and work backwards for how much time you need for everything. Don't do it all at once either! If you find yourself getting anxiety, take a deep breathe, walk away, and come back fresh tomorrow.

    Do you/have you used the check list feature on the website? I don't know about you, but when I can "tick" "tick" "tick" stuff off a list, it subsides my anxiety. If you get to the end of that list and everything's check, you can breathe, and know you really do have it all handled.

    Also, try and have a day or two a week where you do no wedding stuff. Come home, take a bubble bath, have a glass of wine, binge watch some bad TV... just let your mind go somewhere else!

    You've got this. It's going to be wonderful!

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  • Krista
    Frequent user July 2018 Alberta
    Krista ·
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    It's going to be your perfect day; not the perfect day, sometimes when things don't go according to the "big plan" they turn out greater than ever. Accept that even if things don't go 100% according to plan that you will have incredible memories - laughs - tears - triumphs. They will be uniquely yours. Reverse your worries into affirmations.

    eg. Nothing will go right without _______ happening. (perfect weather, organization, etc)

    _____ will be beautiful and I cannot wait to enjoy how ______ looks/ feels/ tastes/sounds.

    Make a game out of it and Madlib all of your fears with your hubby to be. Turns out you may have some common ground! (talking about our fears is vulnerability - and vulnerability with empathy from someone who understands creates courage!)

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  • Jen
    VIP June 2018 Ontario
    Jen ·
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    We actually went out on a double date last night. My MOH and her FH are in the middle of remodelling a home they just bought and moving in so she hasn't been hands on at all and literally has no spare time to give me, which is adding to the anxiety.

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  • Chloe
    Super May 2018 Ontario
    Chloe ·
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    We’re 19 days out now. I can understand the feeling of not knowing what I’m supposed to be doing. I’ve been spending time with my MOH, touching base with vendors, and pampering myself. We just had some wedding showers, so I’m going to write thank you notes for them. And last minute decor DIY stuff. I’m trying to take it easy though. Maybe you should have a girls night with your MOH? Just get some snacks and a movie and take it easy. Tell her your anxieties so that she can be sensitive to them and make sure none of your fears come true.
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