1 Month Until Living Together!

Congrats on your new home!

Here may be something to consider and tips to help when working with each other.

I moved in with my husband (boyfriend then) in 2014 and he was always upset about something or anything with a tantrum breaking things even appliances for no reason. I did and still do take a lot of it from him when he knows he's wrong and has stopped being the breaking machine after sometime and used his words more and thinking what to say too.

The way I look at it, set some guidelines or rules for yourselves. Also do think about house rules so it helps you both to know what pushes each other buttons to avoid.

As I told my husband for a long time before he got it right was to communicate with each other about big purchases. Don't waste your money on things that aren't refundable or try to surprise the other to freak out for nothing.

Furniture and home décor will take time and don't rush to get what you want right away unless a store price matches to save you more money. Wayfair is another way to shop online if there is something you find and for less on that site.

On a personal note though besides investing or buying into a house, this relates to you as a couple on fights and revolving around settling arguments. Always step away and cool down before having a conversation to clear the air with each other. It's one thing to say things you regret one day and make up the next day or say the words "doghouse". It's never pleasant. Also don't go to bed the same mood and feel resentful.

Financially wise, figure out accounts for travel and emergency funds since those 2 are the most important. A joint account for bills if you both pay from that account and put part of your paycheques into it.

Be patient lol don't let things slide from beginning or doesn't get easier when want them to do house chores. I babied my fiancé when we moved in before we got engaged but that was because he worked away a lot. now that he's home its like pulling teeth to get him to do somethings around the house. I went on a month strike of doing laundry and then he learned he had to do it himself. You will learn how to work with eachother and what everyones pet peeves are, its easier to tell him things bug you now then later. that is so exciting and congradulations on the house!!!

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Lol this is so true! We are hoping to be done reno's by Christmas... k I'm kidding... but not really... Right now we have the floors ripped out and some walls being knocked down. For sure taking our time with new stuff moving in like furniture. Basically taking it slow like how you suggested so that we still have money to plan the wedding! It's great thus far - thanks!

We moved in together just shy of a year into our relationship and have been together for 3 years now, just moved into our first house though! Fair warning, you will argue, there will be nothing you can do about it, it just comes from being in close quarters, and that's okay! You will learn to love the quirks you hated, and start to hate the quirks you loved, it all comes with the territory. Get furniture you love, but don't go house broke! Take things slow when it comes to buying things, and I learned the hard way to not go to Ikea often hahaha

Hope you're loving it! Congrats

Well, we moved in before we were engaged. Things moved quickly but we now are engaged and living together alone (we used to live with family before). I find that he's driving me crazier than ever but Im even happier living with him alone right now.. Its not easy as youll find little things make eachother angry but it's all about making eachother happy.. which doesnt matter when you need to change something little if that makes sense!

We had both moved out before but were living at home when we bought our house. For us it was not a huge adjustment for us to move in together, there is definitely a slight learning curve but we had great communication and discussed our expectations. We both cook clean and do yard work. We also split the work load when taking care of our dogs. We still have out issues but thats understandable when you spend all your time with someone. He is also in the navy and will be gone for months at a time so we always have to slightly adjust to sharing our space again (this is harder for me then him lol)

We both had a ton of 'experience" with living with others before we began living together.

Honestly, it is mostly about communication, respect, and courtesy. You have to discuss things, and don't let things go and fester. If you care that you are constantly the one cleaning the bathroom, say something. Marriage, and living together is a partnership and should be treated as such.

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It's a fun part of the learning process of living together! Everyone goes through it and it definitely builds the relationship

We moved in together about a year and a half after dating. He already owned a house and I was renting with a few girls in school. We've both had our fair share of roommates, from great to downright awful!

It WILL be an adjustment. you both have your ways of living that you probably haven't seen before. Men can be messier than women, but I know some women who are messier than my FH. Be sure to talk about how expenses/chores will be divided up or what you expect from the other (i.e. will you split groceries 50/50, who washes the dishes tonight, etc.).

Things you may consider are if you are going to renovate any part of the house and how decor will work. My FH bought his house knowing it needed lots of renos and when I moved in I added some decor when he was at work and he came home a little shocked lol. Since you are both new to the house at the same time, it's good to talk about that stuff right away!

All that said, I found the first month is where most of the adjusting was, he learned how much hair I have and how much it sheds, I learned that he only does the dishes when there is no room left on the counters.

Get a good vacuum. Men are messy lol

Congratulations! that's very exciting!

#1 thing: be prepared to share your closet, you will never have enough closet space. That's my biggest advise haha

but really, it is great. you will both need to learn to live with each other - you have individual routines and ways of doing things so you need to get into a joint pattern or routine, it will take time.

Compromise is a good way, ask for something and give something in return. Make an arrangement regarding chores, otherwise one person will always pull more weight. Remember you are in this together, so the split should be fairly 50/50 in regards to most things.

Also, set a budget. It will help with finances, specially if you lived with your parents before you now have to buy your own food and pay for your own bills - that takes some adjusting to. But be open about it, sit down together and come up with a plan.

Congrats! My husband and I also just bought a house but we have been living together for a few years already.

Be patient with one another. It is a difficult time learning the dance of being in each other's space all the time. Make sure that you guys openly talk about the house budget and that you have a chore schedule or else it is easy to fall behind.

Thank you everyone for all the support, advice and well wishes!

View quoted message My fiancé and I moved in with each other after 6 months! And he had been sleeping at my parents place for a while before that but it was still an adjustment. We decided on who would do chores before we moved in together and that really helped! We have our own set tasks but we help each other too. It was still an adjustment but not a negative one. Just a learning curve. I think what others said about having your own things to do and making sure you take time for yourself and your friends.

There are lots of things to invest in! I say a king sized mattress has already been mentioned, definitely a good idea! A good pits and pans set, knife set, kitchen sets like that. When we moved in together it was near Christmas so we got everything like that as a gift lol.
For us it was not that much of a learning curve, it was just me and my dad for years so I knew what living with a man was like, even though it was just my dad. I also lived with a roommate for a year before moving in with my FH (boyfriend at the time), we moved in after 3/4 months together. We clicked into each other routines instantly, so we didn't have to adjust anything. If it works then it just works, right?!?

It'll be a learning curve for sure. You'll get to experience more of both of your strength and weaknesses. My advice is communicate. Make a chore lists that you both can do individually and/or together. Ask him when he'll have "boys night" so you can arrange a "girls night". Tho that sounds silly, most couples tend to forget about having time apart is important. It'll give you guys a chance to miss each other & obvy getting a chance to spend time with friends too. Also meal prep because cooking can be pain in a butt. Ask him if he'll be able to help out with cooking atleast once a week or vice versa if his the main cook. Learn his fav. meal from his parents that way he'll feel at home and something to pass along to your future kids. Same with you as well. Try to have a talk about general living together experience that way there's no surprises if he or you have something that concerns about. It'll be comfortable living space as long as your both communicating and having each other's back. Congratulation on buying a house!!

My FH and I went looking for houses 3 months into dating. I knew he was the one and wanted him to help pick where we were going to live. He owns his own condo and I have done the roommates and living on my own. It still took us a while to find our groove. It’s a lot about balance and learning how to manage everything together.

I would suggest making a list of things you and he are each bringing to the new house and that way you can see if there is anything to invest in. I like to be organized and save time so for me it was important we come to an agreement on chores and we a month ago we got a white board that lists all of the things we need to do. As of right now we don’t really follow it as we have been very busy with other things. Slowly but surely everything will be in order.

I did the same.. but we moved in with his brother. It was really great but we learned that room mates definitely aren’t our thing! There’s going to be afew things that get under your skin about their living habits but I’ve always found it best to be honest or learn to live with it. I wish you luck on your new beginning 😊

My FH and I moved in together after about 3 months (logistics made it easier to get a place together)... we've now been living together just over 5 years... and we still need to remember to communicate and not expect the other to be a mind reader.

My best advice is: don't try to be perfect. When we first moved in, I tried to be the perfect "wife", cooking, cleaning, making his lunches for work (he worked 60+ hours a week)... then the novelty wore off and it took a long time to adjust to not expecting me to do everything.

Now we share responsibilities, help each other out, and have a routine that works for us. My suggestion is find your balance and compromise right away, so you can build from a strong foundation of equality. Living at home with parents (even if you are independent), is much different than being on your own. ALL of the little things are now up to the two of you! It's exciting, but it means you need to figure out between the two of you who will do what, and what is a good balance of responsibilities!

Good luck!!!

Congratulations Tori on the purchase of your new home, its a very exciting new step in your relationship ! My FH and I bought our first home together Nov. 2017, I was also moving from my parents house (never lived on my own) I'm a little older tho (27 lol), my FH was used to living on his own. When we first moved in together the first few weeks was exciting because its a new home, and a new chapter. But once the excitement wore off I started to feel a little bit of pressure to be a perfect wifey, making sure everything is clean, food on the table, and organized all the time. I had to let that pressure go and learn to just be myself. If your a neat OCD person (like myself) it can get frustrating if your partner is not as neat so I had to learn not everybody is like me organizational wise and that we each bring different traits to the home. Communication is everything when you start living together, even before. Talking about things really helped me understand my FH's perspective, and him understand mine in our adjustment period. I also found that sometimes you don't know you have expectations until your in a situation that brings out those expectations that you unconsciously had in your mind, you will learn to let go of those expectations. I think it's definitely a learning curve that will make your relationship stronger, you really get to know someone once you start living with them. As long as theres love, communication, respect, understanding, forgiveness and friendship it will all workout wonderfully. We both had our ups and downs of getting adjusted to living with someone (me teaching him how to pick up after himself and scrape his plate LOL, and him learning i'm a organized neat freak, which he loves, just not me nagging him to do it). Now we both love it and feel extremely blessed to have one another, we each bring different things to the table and compliment each other well, I wouldn't have it any other way. My best advice to give you would be to *ALWAYS PLAN DATES* and really take the time out just to enjoy each other. It's really easy to get lost in the day to day task of life especially when you start living together, and will continue if you chose to also have kids or already have kids. So its extremely important (IMO) to make it a point to take out a lot of time to talk and enjoy each others company, go on lots of dates, hikes, walks, whatever you like to do to bond as a couple. Wish you all the best in your new chapter, Its is an exciting time for sure !

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Oh boy! Well - if I look from it as we are going to be together for many many more years to come; 6-8 months doesn't look too bad

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Thanks, it does help! I will for sure try and keep the spending to a minimum - promise! haha

I say good luck. but it may be different for you moving from parents in with him. I had been on my own for almost 15 years. and had owned a home for a few years. He came from living with his grandma (who did everything for him). so we had a huge learning curve. as I was very set in his ways. and he was used to not doing chores unless told. it took us a solid 6-8 months to find a groove. and now 99% of the time we are good.
congrats on the house! that is so exciting!

Congratulation on the next level in relationship. My FH and I started with spending weekends together at each other places and then from 2 nights became 5 nights eventually. We moved in together after he proposed to me and there were few things we discussed before we moved in. First, we list down all the living expenses and decided on each contribution. Second, we divided house chores. So he's taking care of the cleaning of the house and fixing things. I am in-charged of groceries shopping and laundry. We take turn in doing dishes and cooking. We have been living together for more than a year now and we haven't encountered any problem yet.

Keep the buying to the basic. It's super exciting to move to a new place and you would want to buy as many things as possible. Buying a house and filling it takes lots of money. Slow down. You don't need to buy everything in the first month. Basic rules is, in anything you want to buy, ask yourself first, 'do I really need it', 'do I just want it cause it will look good', 'can I live without it for the time being'. Hope it helps.

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You basically summed up our relationship with the video games and socks hahaha We've talked a little bit about who will be doing what with the household duties and I think once we get into the groove of it, it should go smoothly (Fingers crossed!) Thanks for the insight!

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Oh good! That was another thing - we have been together quite a short time (1 yr & 3 months - when you know he's the one you've got to lock him up though!) so I was worried about the adjustment. We usually spend every night together at this point either sleeping at his place or sleeping at mine but it's good to know that there will be an adjustment regardless and that it's expected and most of all it's OKAY!

And congratulations on buying a house! That’s so exciting! I’ve owned a home for a long time, and the only thing I suggest you invest in is a really good mattress haha. Make it a king size bed too. Lol

It’s always a big learning curve, especially if you’re still at home. For my FH and I, it was amazing! We both had lived on our own and with other people before we got together, so for us, it was great. It takes being in a bad relationship to teach you how to appreciate the good one. Ha ha. My biggest advice is to give yourselves time to adjust. And don’t expect eachother to change! You will both have to change in a sense of sharing household duties, and to fall into a routine that way. But let’s say he plays video games, don’t expect him not to. Find something you enjoy doing or join him (just an example) . Be patient, A lot of men aren’t the cleanest of creatures, it’s been 9 years and I still do all the laundry and he still puts his dirty socks all over the floor.. lol. But it’s not a hill I’ll die on. It’s only socks 😂

Congratulations on buying a house! That's so exciting that you're a month away from living with your FH!

My FH and I moved in together at ages 25 (me) and 27 (him), we had been dating for 3.5 years at the time, and it was still a total adjustment! I thought that since we were spending 2 nights a week together sleeping at his parents and had several dates a week that I knew exactly what I was getting into but I was wrong! I found that I learned a lot when we first went grocery shopping and I saw what he wanted to spend his money on. Learning how the other one is at the worst of times and not having a separate home to run off to to be alone was also an adjustment but a good one! 5 years later and we're both very comfortable living together lol.